Only a Sith deals in Absolut! The Jedi prefer Smirnoff™. Now go get me a Smirnoff™ and tonic, with extra lime, young padawan.

Only a Sith deals in Absolut! The Jedi prefer Smirnoff™. Now go get me a Smirnoff™ and tonic, with extra lime, young padawan.

Be the integrity, my flibbertigibbets!

Be the integrity, my flibbertigibbets!

Or for the sake of commentary economy, you could say, "how about some narrative economy, Falling Skies?"

Or for the sake of commentary economy, you could say, "how about some narrative economy, Falling Skies?"

Cameron did make the first Terminator movie.

Cameron did make the first Terminator movie.

I think Cameron may succumb to the George Lucas effect: being a billionaire filmmaker surrounded by yes-men and sycophants who tell you that, sure, having various racist stereotypes embodied by CGI characters is a great and original vision. The Na'vi are about to get muy bombad, bitches!

I think Cameron may succumb to the George Lucas effect: being a billionaire filmmaker surrounded by yes-men and sycophants who tell you that, sure, having various racist stereotypes embodied by CGI characters is a great and original vision. The Na'vi are about to get muy bombad, bitches!

And he's also The Librarian, from those awful TNT movies with Bob Newhart and Jane Curtain. Maybe if he finds the spear of destiny or something, he can wipe out the skittles, the ED-2000s and the fish heads all at once.

And he's also The Librarian, from those awful TNT movies with Bob Newhart and Jane Curtain. Maybe if he finds the spear of destiny or something, he can wipe out the skittles, the ED-2000s and the fish heads all at once.

The spinoff show should be "Avery Churchill: Aviatrtix" (description: a dashing lady pilot dashes about dispensing a dash of dashingness wherever she goes)

The spinoff show should be "Avery Churchill: Aviatrtix" (description: a dashing lady pilot dashes about dispensing a dash of dashingness wherever she goes)

So at least tell me the asteroid wins in the end, right? Or maybe Steve Carrell and his Manic Pixie hitch a ride on it and sail on out of the solar system…

So at least tell me the asteroid wins in the end, right? Or maybe Steve Carrell and his Manic Pixie hitch a ride on it and sail on out of the solar system…

He says unfunny things in a voice that's as painful as a cheese grater being dragged across my auditory cortex, and his TV career wouldn't exist without Dr. Drew, another douchebag whose TV career shouldn't exist. But, mmm, a mental lozenge might relieve my grated brain symptoms…

He says unfunny things in a voice that's as painful as a cheese grater being dragged across my auditory cortex, and his TV career wouldn't exist without Dr. Drew, another douchebag whose TV career shouldn't exist. But, mmm, a mental lozenge might relieve my grated brain symptoms…

So is there anybody who's actually an Adam Carolla *fan*? Anybody? Why is he on anything?

So is there anybody who's actually an Adam Carolla *fan*? Anybody? Why is he on anything?