No.  Thank you, but no.   

Arsenio,

Hey!  There's Gentle Herpes on Newswire!

But was the summer grittier?

Man, I wasn't even IN London when that warehouse burned!

She has a way about her.  I don't know what it is.

Huh.

"Last wishes, niggas smoke my ashes."

Wait a minute.  Is Seagal accused of "euthanizing roosters," or "choking chickens?"

There may be some warpage of the space-time continuum.

OK, I'll host the damned show!

Sorry, Mr. Peabody. You set the wrong date on the Way-Back Machine!

I don't care about any of this stuff.

The last time I messed around with the Ouija board, a bone-chilling draft swept through the room.  It was so cold I could see my breath!

You know what gives ME a headache?  Eating ice cream too fast.

Have an ice day!
Brrr. Is it cold in here, or is it just me?