It is soooo embarrassing to be 55 years old. For shame, Madge.

The Rohirrim couldn't sing worth shit.

What did Ron Perlman's shoes symbolize?

The Great Joe Walsh. The Mighty Glenn Frey. His Holiness, Don Henley.

But what if a suburban family crash-landed in an alien's backyard?

Leno walks into Conan's dressing room, a look of bemused sympathy on his face.

Bernard Cornwell's "The Warlord Chronicles" would be a thrill to see adapted. The perfect source material for a thoughtful, character-based, non-fantastical Arthurian miniseries. And the ideal antidote for Arthur nerds who have struggled through too many stilted episodes of "Merlin."

An overdubbed Russian movie about Adam Sandler's arms.

ELO OR GTFO

Surely, I am not saying that! TV is why I know that every bail hearing includes phrases like "He's not a flight risk" and "Mr. So-and-so is a respected member of the community."

"That's my story and I'm sticking to it."
– People who are innocent of things

"Martha My Dear" all the way.

Nope!

"It Hurts Me Too" is a great song. And the album as a whole has a looseness and lack of pretension to it that I enjoy quite a bit. It's a good palate cleanser after a decade of wild-ass metaphors.

I feel guilty for being excited about this. Damn you, music critics!

I only refer to my favorite artist in that way - Dave.

The only way it could be better is if it was spread over the course of three songs.

As Reginald vel Johnson threatened to jump, only Bruce Willis understood.

I think it's just plain wrong to call Toby Keith a "reactionary dinosaur." Before being forced to pay attention to his oeuvre as a local concert reviewer, I thought the same thing, but I quickly realized that Keith's jingoistic tunes represent about 5% of his catalog. The other 95% are slickly crafted, often clever…

"Duck Tales" was the only Nintendo game that held my attention enough so I could play it all the way through. Which says something deep about me as a person. Or something.