Actually it's Yael and Sisera. Judith and Holofernes is the cleaned up version that was written during the Maccabbee revolt. The difference is that in Yael and Sisera, he comes to her tent, she gives him milk and puts him to sleep and then goes out and nails a tent stake through his head. And then Judge Devorah comes…

Well a big part of history is the mythoogies that people come up with to explain their societies. The Bible is just as important historically as the Mahabahrata (sic) and the Iliad.

It's actually better than its reputation. It's like Freud that way. And Moby Dick.

Jesus does it in the Gospel of Timothy - one of the apocryphal ones. Elisha kills 42 children for calling him baldy - with bears. Who could have very well raped them first. Just saying. Don't piss off the prophets.

Not really. You got four different stories and a whole of different versions - Commie, crazy, master debater, dude who wants people to eat him, anti-Semite.

They skip over the second book of The Iliad whenever they adapt it.

As well as commentaries stating that it was only ABraham fighitng the whole time - as well as his servant Eli - in what has to be the most kung fu midrash ever. 

If they cover Judges properly, Revelations will look like a silly music video in comparison. And not a Slayer one either.

We can also just film rabbis debating these laws and placing qualifications on them so that it's just a case of no fucking during niddah, etc.

The sons of Aaron also spontaneously combust.

Israel sins. G-d is pissed. Israel will have to apologize. That's pretty much all of the minor profits.

Cartoon HIstory of the Universe depicts Numbers with one panel of the ground with sink holes in it since that's the book where a shitload of Jews just die for fucking with Moses.

Milton rocks. Of course, he probably didn't intend to make Lucifer the hero.

Well can't go wrong Scorcese. A better question would be what's the most ridiculous Bible movie? And that would have to go to the movie where Lot is leading the slaves out of Sodom.

Yep. She was terrible. 

Placebo

Because folk singing patchouli stinking lesbians with bowl haircuts who wear plaid and talk about their FEELINGS are so fucking entertaining. 

Except without the "SHE'S A KILLER!!!" announcements from the first minute. 

I'm ok with her not explaining why she's a killer. Some people are just evil. But I agree that her realistic portrayal of depression was what made the movie. So many movies like this movie are just about murderers playing dumb guys for chumps.

I see fat people.