His penis tastes like gummi bears and cures the blues!

(AVC comment sections are actually some of the best I've ever been a part of. I just couldn't resist throwing in a self-referential jab.)

That video has the most intelligent comments section I've ever seen. Yes, even more so than AVC.

Until I saw Dear Zachary, the most heartbreaking thing I had seen in a movie was the shot of Sara's friends crying outside the hospital. All of the main characters' outcomes are awful, but Sara's is fucking devastating.

See, that's what I love about these dwarf girls, man…

I can't say I trust Alt Press' grades for bands who are big in the Warped Tour set, but they printed a quote by me in the latest issue, so DISREGARD THAT, WHAT THEY SAY IS GOLDEN.

It's a decently fun game
But I don't think it's worth the $15 price tag. That's not based entirely on the game's short length, before anyone makes that assumption.

Er, switch around the "Big Cock" and "Saturday Night" parts. I'm pretty drunk.

Any genre with noise in it
is a genre I'm not really fit to commentate on; however, I will say that Boris and Melt Banana are fucking awesome.

But they're the devil's playground.

Pfft…
I'm going to Hullabalooza.

The first three movies I watched once I got Netflix were Easy Rider, Two Lane Blacktop, and Vanishing Point, the latter two because I had heard Tarantino mention them. I loved all of them.