Fuck, I almost kicked my TV in. Gimpy motherfucker.

Sure, just ask my ex-wife's dildo.

I, for one, don't want the blow softened.

And they have Glenfiddich in their bottles. Lucky babies.

THE AV CLUB

I like cat videos!

Jesus, what is wrong with you? Don't you know she has laundry to finish first??

Holy crap! What will they think of next??

Or the most awesome electrician ever.
***flips switch, power grid collapses, surveys darkened cityscape**
"Fuckin-A"

It's a volleyball that lives on an island somewhere.

Ned Beatty.

The attorney used the music question to segue into asking if anyone listened to talk radio. A Rush Limbaugh-conservative-radio-fan was also dismissed.

I looked out the window and seen his bald head
I ran to the fridge and pulled out an egg
Scoped him with my scopes he had no hair
Launched that shot and he was caught out there

His wife prefers fish tacos to long sausage???
**faints dead away**

But some his songs are great: "Watermelon Wine" and "I Love Beer" for instance.

"…he quickly becomes rich, powerful, and cripplingly alcoholic". I'm one-third of the way there!

Family Feud can rub my chub, bub.

I think there are a lot of people that just don't like her - don't like her popularity, or her brand of pop music.
See also Justin Bieber when he was at the height of his popularity.

So, a few weeks ago Dave was on jury duty and made it into the twelve. During the selection process the defense attorney asked everyone what type of music they listened to. One young lady said she didn't listen to a lot of music, but really liked Taylor Swift. There were audible titters from the courtroom - she did…

I read that as "shining taint", which made it much more humorous to me.