I seriously did. Wrote it, pitched it, sold it, oversaw every part of its development with High Moon, recorded the voices, etc.

Thanks, Jorge. One of the few assignments where I myself fit squarely into the target demographic. Makes it easier.

The gamestop commercial for this game features "the touch."

Say what you want
But she's got the art of the trailer nailed.

I've waited 20 some damn years for a Custer's Revenge reference. Now as soon as someone works a Beat Em and Eat Em reference into casual conversation, I can die in peace.

Again on Prayer for Owen Meaney. I hated Garp, never would have read another Irvin novel if I'd started there.

Shitty batteries??
My 7th grade science fair project definitively proved that Radio Shack batteries are the best available. Didn't you people read the abstract?

Frozen with anticipation
I don't know what to say. Help?

My shame is immense. I no longer deserve Internet.

Hmm
Aren't we at the point in our nation's history where we can safely assume a "Gerunding Proper Noun"-titled movie is crap?

The good news is that the avclub's reviews of comedies are typically their least reliable. I'm giving this a shot anyway.

Not really any avoiding it, no, especially if your daughter has grandmothers. My daughter is four years old, and despite my best intentions, she's rabidly pro-princess. But I've tried to balance it out with other stuff, and that seems to have worked. She's also rabidly into star wars and particle physics. If…

Explained:

Seriously. It immediately telecasts a big joke that never comes. I can't believe a team of people all unanimously agreed on casting this guy.

For the first time in your life.

"I bet that they're forcing their young child to wear epaulets and a tattered, pinstriped diaper. "

Similarities between Colin Meloy and Jeff Mangum:

Before I become the poster bogeyman for the anti-backlash backlash, let me be clear that I actually like a couple Decemberist songs a lot. But when I do enjoy them, it's because I've managed to briefly look past Colin's lyrical affectations. The minute I notice them, I'm back to being fucking annoyed. My main beef,…

Fuck this. I'm not used to the Internets asking me for clarification. I may be setting a dangerous precedent here, but I'm gonna go ahead and respond.

And why is it that these guys always get referred to as "hyper-literate"? I vote for the boilerplate prefix changing to "faux." I took a poetry writing class once where every other person was Colin Meloy's writing twin - if it sounded victorian enough and had seafaring references, then by god, it must be good.