Might I recommend a profession: "Substitute Teacher"? Summers and evenings off, bro, though you may have to find someone else to buy your videogames.

Truth to power, @avclub-6f518c31f6baa365f55c38d11cc349d1:disqus , truth to power.

Truth to power, @avclub-6f518c31f6baa365f55c38d11cc349d1:disqus , truth to power.

I'm not sure if this is supposed to be a "Tom Cruise is gay" joke, but Sal was the first thing I thought of when I read this, too.

I'm not sure if this is supposed to be a "Tom Cruise is gay" joke, but Sal was the first thing I thought of when I read this, too.

Dude, try Bill Murray. Time for some well-timed catatonia.

Dude, try Bill Murray. Time for some well-timed catatonia.

It was supposed to be the end of the beginning! The End of Empire, which would bring us gasping, for once honest, into the gloriously honest light of the solipsistic day!

It was supposed to be the end of the beginning! The End of Empire, which would bring us gasping, for once honest, into the gloriously honest light of the solipsistic day!

It just felt like it, at the time. But aren't we accustomed to lie a bit, in police interviews, after the fact?

It just felt like it, at the time. But aren't we accustomed to lie a bit, in police interviews, after the fact?

One of my favorites, "The Happiness Machine," I think was collected in Dandelion Wine. (It can be read here.) It's a very simple idea, but when I read it in junior high it seemed mind-blowingly deep, and there's something to be said for the first time time you realise that you might not be happy once you get what you…

One of my favorites, "The Happiness Machine," I think was collected in Dandelion Wine. (It can be read here.) It's a very simple idea, but when I read it in junior high it seemed mind-blowingly deep, and there's something to be said for the first time time you realise that you might not be happy once you get what you…

"Dandelion Wine" and "Something Wicked This Way Comes" are some of my favourite books about childhood—amazing, amazing, lyrical writing. And books like "The Martian Chronicles" and "The Illustrated Man" are some of the most imaginative things I've ever read.

"Dandelion Wine" and "Something Wicked This Way Comes" are some of my favourite books about childhood—amazing, amazing, lyrical writing. And books like "The Martian Chronicles" and "The Illustrated Man" are some of the most imaginative things I've ever read.

You could make a case for Boy in the Bubble. If you really wanted "troll bait," you'd name Punky's Dilemma or some such stinker. Or even The Sound of Silence, which I hope we can agree didn't turn out to be his best.

You could make a case for Boy in the Bubble. If you really wanted "troll bait," you'd name Punky's Dilemma or some such stinker. Or even The Sound of Silence, which I hope we can agree didn't turn out to be his best.

What about the boy in the bubble and the baby with the baboon heart?

What about the boy in the bubble and the baby with the baboon heart?

It's sure one of my favorites. Although, the thing about Graceland is that I hated it the first time I listened to it, but I loved Paul Simon so I wondered what was wrong. That was my first time, in junior high, of listening to an album again and realising that my gut had been wrong. Now, I'd say that Graceland is the…