I'd like to remind everyone of the deathless art film that is Pom Poko.

"This next song is about a train."

It's a "Pinot Noir" you can't dance to.

There you have it. This new album will be full of cheery, upbeat tunes.

I went to an R-rated movie and some couple showed up with a baby. It began to cry because, as we all know, babies hate movies. Somebody bellowed, "who brings a baby to this kind of movie??"

I, too, initially thought that this was annoying. Then, the haze of nostalgia descended and I recalled bygone days where kids would haunt the buses and trains with what would now be the equivalent of a THX certified sound system dangling from their arm. Full, rich bass tones and hit-you-in-the-face percussion…

In 25 years we'll be too distracted by the new "GU=?? All Over Jakarta Smooch" Movie to care.

If you watch old Looney Tunes, Silly Symphonies and Felix the Cat — and then follow it up with 70s vintage Scooby Doo, you see plainly that this was a generation that really hated their kids. Hated them like the baby in "It's Alive."

It's been my experience that partners that ask you to ditch your friends will eventually ask you to ditch your family.

Yeah, the great thing about the 80's is that you could always read about all of this amazing music and then never hear any of it.

Stop the flow of fried food into North Carolina and we've got ourselves the beginnings of a siege.

The alternative is for the credit companies to not model their business records practices after the U.S. Dept. of Veterans Affairs.

It's really important to get a credit card and establish a good credit rating, otherwise how will you buy a…ho..ho ho haw haw haww haw aw haw!!

The plausibility of the gimmick is destroyed when you ask the obvious question, who pays money to look like Humphrey Bogart?

It's much like how early 3D movies were more interested in poking you in the eye than playing with depth (see what I did there?). Movies themselves are a cheap gimmick (flat recordings of reality edited into structured narratives that don't exist in reality) so it's just a matter of time before somebody elevates this…

"Whadya mean I only need one MIDI controller?"

I once stumbled into a drinking establishment where the "Wheel of Fortune" was entertaining the drunks. Everyone seemed to be getting into the show, so the bartender said, "Let's see who guesses the next one the first!"

Morricone is God and Mansell gets close at times. Hans Zimmer, however, could be replaced with an algorithm. Danny Elfman could be replaced by the polka band that played at Nino Rota's funeral. These are my opinions and I aim to see them through.

Art that serves the State? Now that's something everyone can enjoy!

When will they make an eighties coming-of-age movie that depicts what that time was really like for young people?