Maybe they'll take the BangBus out of town.

I guess Florida State is now being called Face Snack U.

Yes.

Heh, that Onion story…
"I Have A Dream: To One Day Eat A Kentucky Derby-Winning Horse."

, Honey?

He dreamed big too, but all it got him was a big ass.

Hey, fella, leave your S&M fantasies in the bedroom, there are kids present!

"Hot day-old scoops" are what Depends are made for.

If this story & the Metzger one are similar in the comment load across the spectrum, I bet NPR is going apeshit.

i'm a 25 year old powerlifter.

IKNEWITWASN'TBERKOWITZ

SHUT UP, YOU OLD BAG!

SHIT YOU BEAT ME TO IT

[SIGHS, GOES OFF TO HAVE AFFAIR WITH JOHN CHEEVER.]

I think we ALL were hit by a giant ball of oil today :(

…that wasn't a twist-off….

WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!?

But now the Trump campaign can double down on Kramer burning the Puerto Rican flag.

SERENITY NOW!!!

Phillie Phrenetic?