We get the sitcoms we deserve

Excerpts via Warming Glow
Dear Girls Above Me,
"Did you hear that all these kids were rescued in Chile after being trapped in some mountain?" Miners, not minors.

Everybody, listen to me!
I think John Cage might already have done this maybe. I read it mentioned 17 times recently.

Me, my friends and I.

Grandma Tried Fellatio Once,
Gripping Tightly Fido's Organ.

The Opening of Misty Beethoven
Ridiculous omission.

Because Canadians would never let England shake.

In the what now?

Nothing wrong with "In the Meantime." Helmet's was better, though.

Was it every third word or was it random? C'mon, Hitler.

iirc, Japan has adopted similar laws or is trying to in response to lolicon. Feel free to not look up that word. It's for the best.

Got me a penis that's 2 feet wide,
length of 20 and a crocodile hide.

Aw, memories of middle school during the growing pains of the internet
Is this stuff still cool: http://imgur.com/a/V7OW5/di…

Failed went-there-first.

Ha, that fucker up there thinks we have wives! That's icky.

@ SarCCastro

FIRSTIES ARE AN ABOMINATION UNTO THE INTERNET. YOU ALL ARE IMMATURE AND SILLY! STOP IT, I SAY. I SAY, STOP IT.

Zoolander 2: Maybe This One Won't Suck

I'm good, just had to squeeze one out. Now, onto business. I wish to know more of this 'rape-cute'.

YOU ARE 12 YEARS OLD WHY DO YOU DO THIS WHY ARE YOU BRAGGING STOP DOING FIRSTIES I DON'T LIKE THEM THEY MAKE ME DISAPPOINTED IN HUMANITY AND NOW I HATE THE INTERNET BUT THE INTERNET IS WHERE ALL MY FRIENDS ARE AND AND AND