WHY DON'T WE HAVE THESE.

Ah, the Recreational Outrage segment. 

I've done it in my bar.
But I just find vodka a complete bore anyway and this was a welcome excuse to stock/serve less of it. 'Oh can I interest you in something that doesn't suck?'

No chance he'd let little Vlad anywhere near those filthy non-Putins. I'd say there's about a 100% chance there's a lab somewhere in Russia devoted solely to making Putin clones for Putin to make sweet, Putin love to.
It really wouldn't be any weirder than anything else you read about him.

Putin is in love with Putin, all Putin, only Putin.

Weren't you already?

INCORRECT, SIR! You simply cannot say that about Cereal Killer.

Terriers…. *sobs*

SUDDEN DEATH!!!!

He can do everything a normal dog can do! Except dig!

HEY!

Waaaaait as of when did topless women = softcore porn?

Ha ha, oh dear. Let's have a little talk about LA and celebrities and disappearing legal troubles, my friend.

Honestly I think that would make just as much sense.

I miss Clark and Martha. Poor, poor Martha.

Like like like. Was just listening to it today.

I'm feeling incredibly defensive for cold noodles with butter right now. It's your own fault, you jerk! Why did you let them get cold? You know you should only cook enough pasta for one meal at a time. HOW DARE YOU SIR.

VENTRICULAR BUZZWORD LOVE MARRY.

Oh really? Do you 'kind of wish for' one thousand 'WHERE'S FIREFLY' comments, too?

LAME.