So I'm getting married New Year's Eve, which of course will still be 2016. I'm choosing to believe all the rest of this year is penance for my earlier life, so that I can earn the rich fulfilling days ahead for the Sandbaguette and me.

Sacrelicious.

Crazy is often both those things.

Yes, of course. Jocks were idolized by everyone and could get away with being in marching band, drama club, etc. Still attractive, still got the attention of the opposite sex. Still sat at the cool lunch table.

Say the goddam words! You're gonna survive the white cells!

I think Sean read my diary and wrote my experience of Reservoir Dogs. I was 18 and saw Roger Ebert say Tarantino was a genuine talent who had made a twisty, guttural crime story perfect for the screen.

If there is cash left on the table, someone will come back for it.

Mandatory viewing on Thanksgiving night for me. Or else I don't shit right for a week.

Early sobriety sucks. That's why AA makes newbies do 90 meetings in 90 days.

I can only speak for myself, 16 at the time: Beastie Boys were those guys from the "Fight for Your Right" video, a one-hit wonder. That Paul Revere song was cool and No Sleep Til Brooklyn was good, but mostly because of the riffs.

You drink brass monkey, here's how you feel.

A ricer may be the secret weapon.

Yukon Golds and lots of dairy. You won't go wrong with this one: http://allrecipes.com/recip…

Look: Get the best bread you can find. Sourdough is fantastic, but so are large slices of whole grain. Best melting cheese you can find, sliced. Manchego, gouda, pepper jack are all correct answers. Thinly sliced tomatoes are welcome if it is the summer peak; otherwise skip them (or serve the sandwich alongside…

We all miss the versions of ourselves before becoming heart patients. My kingdom for some Five Guys.

Hat.

Thanks, now my band has a name.

The "I'm Rubber, You're Glue" defense. A masterstroke.

Katy Mixon was April in Eastbound and Down. Diedrich Bader was Lawrence in Office Space. I'm sold.

Oh I saw it, hard. The first season is fantastic.