I don't even own a kid!

I like your avatar.

Where does GI Joe play into all of this?

When she spaces out like this, does she by any chance have access to a….

+1

Poppycock.

Hell yeah. Sometimes I'll drop potato in there, too, to really boost the carb quotient.

That joke kind of through me off for a second.

100% my bad. I made the mistake of assuming that everyone's definition of small town was the same as mine.

Vietnamese food is probably the crowning achievement of mankind.

Thanks for the tip! +16 helpful points.*

Or, and I'm just spitballing here, you could always abandon the child.

Haha. I just complained about this same thing in a comment directly above this.

I feel your pain. I have a few people who I go out to eat with on a semi-regular basis (5-6 times a year) who have to have everything just so, which goes roughly like this:

Vegetable "sushi" can be fucking delicious, if that's the sort of thing you can tolerate. Get some avocado, asparagus, and carrots in there with a nice seaweed wrap, and you get the added bonus of going out with friends without having to eat raw fish.

Weak.

I miss features like Alternative Nation—well written, insightful, long-form stuff.

Or, you could be like me and be so unwilling to waste food that you choke it down while a solitary tear rolls down your cheek.

I've always wondered—is your avatar an Asian Daniel Craig?

Haha. That's true. I spent a while in Monterey County recently, and I can vouch that 80% of restaurants outside of Monterey Bay were Mexican, especially if you count the little taquerias in markets and grocery stores.