Yeah. We get it. Nothing has paid off for anyone.

It seems to be the more popular version, with a little less swing and, surprisingly, a better guitar riff.

Eh, I've heard this "Chuck Berry was old as fuck when he was playing kids music" criticism a few times, and I call bullshit. He was a few years older than most rock stars when he got big— he was 28 when Maybelline was released and 33 when he was charged under the Mann Act, pretty much ending his run as a teen pop icon.

For sure. Then I remember the collection of DVDs in my basement that I haven't even looked at in a year, and that, unless I REALLY love a movie, I don't need to own a physical copy.

jizzfix?

Yeah. Went to a small theater near my house the other day—a theater which I'd always considered kind of dumpy, like a step above a dollar theater—and they have also followed this trend.

When I was a teenager, the VIP section was in the back row.

Loving your stuff today, Jake.

Po-ta-toes!

I'm sad because now Ron Howard looks like Clint Howard.

Funny you should say that, because I teabagged Tom Cruise when I was 10. He was 42, though.

It's fucking annoying. But for some reason, it only happens on my iPhone. I have a Samsung for work and it works just fine.

Oh god. Johnny Rotten is just fucking depressing at this point.

Are we still doing phrasing?

That's the kind of circumstance that, if it appeared on tv or in a movie, I would dismiss as impossible and contrived.

As a kid, thought he was supposed to be a Jay Leno knockoff. That fucking Nazi.

We have a winner here, folks!

While it may be true that most readers don't comment on every article, I imagine that many readers, such as myself, are at least as interested in the comments as they are in the article.

She touched my pepe, Steve.

I walked out of a bar on November 9 and a man screamed from window of a passing car, "White power!"