It stinks!

At least we can finally saddle up and ride him.

Last year, the government spent less on Silly Hats than it did on National Defence.

I'm hoping he finds a new gear to shift into. The cycle of deadpan exposition, followed by "It's like…" and then an absurd visual analogy is getting as predictable as Family Guy flashbacks.

I think the Trump campaign has been a breeding ground for clapter. Every comedian seems to want to get in on it because they all want to have their put their stake in the ground to establish for all time that they opposed this guy who think believe is terribly dangerous. Unfortunately, Trump is enough of a…

I got a ham license back when the idea of communicating freely with people in other countries was still novel. Then I discovered that all most hams really wanted to talk about was their radios. And then not much later, the internet blew up and made me a fool for ever trying to learn Morse code.

Each week, Boz accidentally yanks off a different appendage.

In my day, we boycotted spearmint gum to fight the Wrigleys.

If you don't squeeze it with your ass cheeks only, you're a goddamn communist.

Or Donald Rum-p.

*insert montage of David Schwimmer saying "Juice" 483 times*

It's like orange juice for Lutherans.

If you put a lump of coal up Max Bialystock's ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond.

A guy who debunks magic tricks?

He's the only member of the band who gets to sit down the whole time.

There's nothing funnier than Calvin's dad deliberately giving him fucked up explanations for how things work.

Hell, bring back Jack Sheldon. He's still alive.

Hey George, hand me that box of guar gum.

Pop Secret?

I'm always amazed when I'm reminded that The Facts of Life went on for nine seasons.