How is listening to Glenn Miller on your Philco better than buying the sheet music and playing it yourself, or as part of a community sing-along? Kids today!

Just for the record, Gore did not win Florida by any and every count. When the AP went back and examined all the ballots, their finding was that Gore would have won only if each and every unclear vote were to be arbitrarily assigned to Gore. In other words, if a ballot had two votes on it or were mutilated in a way…

That's what they should have done for his SNL appearance. Redo the "lost" It's a Wonderful Life Sketch where everyone just beats the shit out of Donald Trump.

They wanted okay ratings (which they got, it certainly didn't "tank"), but not ratings so high as to create a bidding war for Megyn Kelly's services.

The resulting fire mishaps was what really killed Charlie O'Donnell. Cover-up of the century.

That's actually what Mike Tyson was originally going for, but he got distracted.

He played John Cleese in Fawlty Towers.

If I had a dollar for every time I slowed down that falling shot, trying to catch a glimpse of boob on the way down…

Glabrous-American

So My Wife Really Ended Up Being Killed by an Axe-Murderer and Yes I'm Aware of the Irony

The smart move is to accept the money, but not the work.

The answer is none. None more Brians.

At this point, the headline "Trump Voluntarily Stops Doing Something He Shouldn't Have Been Doing in the First Place" would be almost as eye-catching as the usual clickbait.

We need to get some Green Mile shit going here. Too bad Michael Clarke Duncan is already dead.

Or maybe he just realized that his own narrative got away from him a little, implying that exposure to a lot of credible rumors was personal experience. This is not the kind of allegation you want to be Brian Williams-ing your way into.

True Bill

And you wouldn't even need a DC delegate.

Replacing his right eye with a marble wasn't a great idea in hindsight.

And before Lucasfilm had the trademark to anything with "Chewbacca" in it.

I'm sure Rather is working feverishly to come up with folksy aphorisms for death even as we speak.