Oh, so we ARE still going with that tired old gag. Okay, thanks!

I live in San Antonio, which is like living in Austin if living in Austin was completely terrible all the time. But I'm not a native Texan.

I did enjoy how ragged and uncool they made Slattery look, like he'd just wandered out of a long hospital stay.

That's what the internet tells me. The internet is always right.

I just figure it combines so many disturbingly common fetishes (pregnant women, people with guns*, "Mad Men" cast members, grown men dressed like babies), there's gotta be someone out there who has all of them.

I was actually going to mention that — I'm not from New England, so how would I know if it's bad or not? But I subscribe to Joe Queenan's theory that when we talk about a 'bad accent', we don't necessarily mean one that's incorrect or imprecise, but just one that's so big and noticeable that it's distracting. …

I've made no secret of my dislike for power metal — for me, I have the same block with it that a lot of people have with black metal. But I try (I like Gamma Ray pretty well), and it's not like I don't listen to a lot of ridiculous stuff — I mean, shit, I have everything Bal-Sagoth has ever recorded. I'll see what I…

Oh, man, that is really an amazing name. Misantropical Painforest. May replace Prostitute Disfigurement in my pantheon of greats.

Start with Bathory.

Ist Krieg — I actually had a really good Hungarian speed metal album lined up for this month, but I ran out of space. Morbid Carnage, "Night Assassins". Check 'er out. (Extra fun: the press release for it is filled with hilariously bad English from the band.)

I know! They're just so over-the-top, it almost transcends blasphemous and becomes cute.

I have interviewed every member of Hollywood Undead. Believe me, they are not being 'ironic' in the least bit. They are completely, genuinely, 100% terrible.

Why, it's almost like you guys don't read Metal Box, the AV Club's monthly metal column, written by beloved writer Leonard Pierce. Kylesa was the lead review this very month.

jonnieboy, this was made BEFORE "Star Trek". I'm not saying it's impossible he was kidding, but he goes on for several minutes about how greatly in demand he was as a stage, screen and TV actor, and how his agent advised him not to do the movie because it would interfere with his meteoric success.

Well, he was dating a supermodel.

1) A lot of the cast and crew had terrible things happen to them after the movie wrapped, leading to the legend that the production was cursed. Hall's girlfriend left him, Leslie Stevens got divorced and his business fell apart, the guy who plays the incubus killed himself after murdering his girlfriend, one of the…

It's not a terrible movie. It really looks gorgeous and has some genuinely scary/creepy moments. But it's cheap, and it's hokey, and the dialogue is pretty goofy in any language, and the decision to make it spoken in a language none of the actors understood pretty much eliminated the chance that anyone would turn in…

He gives it that little French "ong" in the middle — "es-pur-ONG-toe". And all of his lines have a noticeable Quebecois inflection, which is apparently a big reason why actual Esperanto speakers laughed at screenings of the movie, because his pronunciation was so bad.

Yeah, even in the comic I was bugged by the fact that they seemed to be implying that there's hundreds of miles of farmland and forest, and then, BOOM! Atlanta starts. No city, especially not Atlanta, is like that — you have suburbs that go on for miles and miles where you could get what you were looking for.

No. I have never seen a zombie movie before.