My penos is just fine, thank you - hard, shiny, cool to the touch, and a deep rich shade of puce, as a penos should be.

"I like the way 'Snrub' thinks!"

How dare you display empathy for someone in a different situation than you? This is the Internet, sir! THE INTERNET.

As has been noted, The Anachronist's Girlfriend is a fan of reality shows.

I don't THINK it was the relation thing - just none that I found hot!

I just don't understand the way these young people talk today.

If you get into coprophilia, partners aren't the only thing you'll be digging through…

Uh… wha-?

I know, I know… it's a prejudice I will admit to sharing.

I hope they're the kind with the juicy filling.

How about a pangolin? Would you be up for that?

I don't think I've ever had a hot cousin - one that I was attracted to, at any rate. That cliché seems to have passed me by.

Oh, was that him? Yeah, I liked him too.

I'm mildly intrigued, but an hour long? That seems to be stretching the premise way too thin.

"Gerry" is OK, though… right?

Pear pimples for hairy fishnuts!

I haven't, but I did call a male cop that once.

“I don’t mean this disrespectfully, but maybe he looked in the mirror and always saw that very pale sort of fat kid…"

GALLAGHER.

Ahp… buh…