Typically, I counsel young men to avoid murderous cults from chasing you all across rural Canada.

It looked like Ally Sheedy might actually revive her career with critically acclaimed turns as Hedwig on stage and with that lesbian art film she did a while back, but it looks like that didn't really lead anywhere.

Feast was awful.

Aw, man
I saw Fight Night and read it as Fright Night.

Because he thought that there was nothing wrong with pointing a loaded shotgun into a woman's face and pulling the trigger, and that he would get away with it.

Wait a second
Seinfeld isn't funny anymore? When did that happen?

I don't think women who look like that become high school principals.

Right album, wrong song. That line is from "Dr. Jimmy".

According to Troy McClure, that character was never popular.

I haven't seen The Island, but from the plot description above, I'd say that the "Clonus Horror" people make a convincing case for their claim of plagiarism.

I thought all the teenagers today shaved their pubes.

I liked it when Kim was dating C. Thomas Howell, who had a goatee that looked like someone nailed a dead chinchilla to his face.

I also would have helped you, but I was too busy trying to think of a Chicago Hope joke, but since I never watched that show I got as far as "Mandy Pitinkin" and gave up.

Since you know the name of the TMBG documentary, then obviously you care.

What, you don't want to win a "prize" that's saturated in porta-potty chemicals and Jesse Pinkman's tears?

If I never have kids, I don't have to see shit like this.

Too soon
You're a week early for April Fools, guys.

That virus
In "Torn", they make a point to say that the cylon-killing beacon/virus was created by the 13th colony.

Your last name is Thunderbird?

Actually, I'd love to see Miami Blues with Fred Willard.