Jesus God, HOPE, get some therapy. You are profoundly depressed and you will not be in a position to work on your other issues until you address that.

I'm already over Gia. If you're going to be a bitch, at least be a funny bitch.

Seriously, is she even covering them anymore? 'Cuz it looks like she's just letting them hang out now.

But she had no fucking clue how to make it an outfit. And that is inexcusable on this show. How the fuck do you get on the sixth season of RPDR without knowing how to sew??

Isn't Michelle always a huge stick in the mud?

Well, there's no shortage of religious lunatics living in the Springs…

That's debatable.

I had a children's version of Little Women that had Beth survive her scarlet fever. I was fucking devastated when I read the whole book later.

It was Tom Coburn. Even better, his complaint was mainly about the female nudity in the "shower psyche-out" scene. I mean, sure, it depicts Nazis sniping people from their balconies and heaps of dead bodies heading to the incinerator and their ashes falling down like snow, but some ladies showed their boobies!! What…

I really, really don't miss the days when dialogue was badly overdubbed rather than just edited for TV.

I had a weird case of reverse-censorship with this one. I saw it on video when I was a kid and then I caught a TV airing in high school, and was completely baffled as to why "ass" wasn't acceptable for cable in 2000. I don't think they still air that one, though. Comedy Central doesn't, at least.

Because figure-skating designers have access to some sweet-ass meth.

Can we talk about how fucking pathetic Joan and Carol's dates are? I'm honestly surprised that Joan would deign to sleep with the charmless slob she brought home.

I always thought it was because she was too young for him. Don has never pursued "children", so to speak. I believe these girls were still teenagers, and Don has never gone after women that much younger than him. Until the divorce, all his affairs were with women who were both very strong and around his age.

Bert knows everything about EVERYTHING.

It's gotten better. It used to be so bad that I couldn't go on a date without fighting back a panic attack. Now it's just awkward and kind of uncomfortable.

That's exactly what it was. The only reason Betty landed the job in the first place was because they were courting Don and figured putting his wife in an ad would seal the deal. When he didn't play ball, they "went a different direction." She would never have booked it otherwise. Note how outdated her modeling…

I would rather get teeth pulled. Really. I'm naturally shy and introverted, and being out with someone I don't know very well with no idea of where things are going or what to expect just sets me on edge. Blind dates are not even on the table.

I've always considered this to be Betty's (or at least Don-era Betty's) idea of good parenting. "Threaten my kids, will ya? Well, chew on this."

Yeah, I'm not sure twice constitutes "often."