Every day, we get closer and closer to making the Good Morning Burger a reality.

Hipster Recycling, that was so inappropriate. And I laughed SO hard.

Don't forget Last Clear Chance. "Tell me, Larry, why don't they look?"

Most of Hans Christian Andersen's body of work is soul-crushingly depressing. Let's take a look at a few:

It stinks!

CMON DUDES: Ah yes, Tubular Boobular Joy. One of the best goofy songs they ever did, in a show that was rich with goofy songs. Arealogical, autoerotical, tubular boobular joy!

Elitist Trash: Matthew Bourne adapted it into a dance show, and it worked pretty well.

Really. Why would a burglar look through a hole in the fence, make damn sure the homeowner and her daughter are home, and proceed to break in anyway? So they can be absolutely 100% positive it's him when they go down to look at the police lineup?

But a greyhound-fur tuxedo would be best.

"Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond."

Oh, so he'll gladly shill for Savvy Indian Chewing Tobacco, but this earns his scathing contempt? For shame, sir!

Don't forget about the "propsal" for The Proposal!

I'm much more interested in what Carlos Alazraqui thinks.

Let's not forget that TLC is reseponsible for both the Duggars AND Jon and Kate. That earns them the freak show/schadenfreude/"How can they sleep at night?" trifecta.

30 Rock
If 30 Rock doesn't mercilessly mock Tracy Morgan for this next season, abandon all hope.

My first job was in the juniors department at Foley's (which has since been bought out by Macy's. Good fucking riddance) and among all the crappy bubble-gum pop they played, I grew to despise two particular songs, for reasons that still aren't clear: "Drift Away" (probably the Uncle Kracker cover) and "Black Water" by…

Stuffed onions?
Who the fuck eats a whole onion, cooked or not? And how is that a "snack"?

Yeah, the "white dress-black panties" thing gave me pause too. How sad is it that, of all the ridiculous shit in that clip, that's what bothered me the most?

Which one? The 1997 version or the American Tail / Titanic cartoon crossover?

Well, Jorge, that would make a lot of shows more tolerable. It would vastly improve Wicked, and it might even have made Mamma Mia watchable.