The twist-Hoff?

You know who else isn't funny? That Kyle Massey kid. I saw him interviewed on GMA this morning. It's like he's got this fame from Disney, but he doesn't know what to do with it, and doesn't realize that the little gimmicky shit that worked for those kids won't hold up on DWTS.

The twist is, William H. Macy's character is none other than William H. Macy.

Oh, I hate it when my dove is lonly.

If he won in your hearts, then he won.

If there's one thing I love, it's continuity. EVL has got to be the poster… umm, gimmick identity for all gimmick identities… the "unhonoured" is what got me there.

No lie, when I glanced at the headline, I thought it said—
Burt Reynolds and Gary Cooper.

But what if it's a dead GHOST horse?

Entwine the beams…

Well, suffice it to say I've done a fair amount of research on this whole Twilight phenomenon. Partly out of curiosity, partly out of necessity (if you're gonna write a song that completely bashes a topic, and you want to stand by that sentiment, you gotta be credibly knowledgeable on the topic and able to back up…

Maybe a little cheesy, but the accuracy of the way the on-foot action was done (handling weapons, CQC tactics, etc.) in the Star Trek movie has me convinced he could make a suitable replacement.

Wax Tom Cruise! Amiright?

Titty Delights could outfuck any Bond girl, any day of the week.

How's "The View" down there?

Remember Cheri Oteri?

Show of hands if—
—"Katie Holmes on a leash" is on your bingo card of celebrity fantasies.

I thought he fed the meters…?

fuck—my coffee didn't kick in yet. Ignore the typo as I quoted it below and I guess give me a gold star for being one of the dedicated readers.

"… enough to buy every woman who fuels this vampire trend with the unconditional love she so desires"
Freedom costs a buck o'five; not sure about unconditional love.

I think that sound we just heard was my belief in the existence of a just God dying.