(FALLS OFF OF CLIFF)

A movie about the heroism of amassing riches…with some of the cheapest sets in recent memory.

So Zemeckis emerges from his mo-cap madness so he can work on…this?  Damn man, just make some phukken movies again.

Your TV is really terrible.

Decadence, bosh!  It's all about the gangster Nancy Sinatra thing now.

I think Vibes was some comedy about Jeff Goldblum and Cyndi Lauper as psychics in the Amazon.  Sounds a bit highbrow for me.

Damn, forgot all about Architect.  Didn't she play the wife of a dying and insane Brian Dennehy?  A real crowd-pleaser.

Held back.

Probably because of the sweeeeeet nicotine she's got.  Death's warm embrace.

Sorry, I mad, bro.

This is fucking sad.  Hopefully he did this so he wouldn't have to deal with some agonizing cancer battle.  RIP.

Ifukube's dirge-like score is also a HUGE part of the experience.  Even when the movies got lame, Ifukube could be counted on to provide a dynamic score.  (And when Toho went for other composers in the 60s and 70s, we somehow ended up with surf-rock drum patterns and jawharp.)

Surprised Webb didn't get more substantial roles after this.  It's a tough-sell character, but it should have led to something bigger than small roles in Ivan Reitman movies.

*Steps out of the way so Dr. Pepper ad is not blocked by girth*

You're goddamn right I am.  I'm supposed to say it's terrible because of the short-sighted echo-chamber snarking on sites like these? Have you fucking seen the shit that comes out any given year? It was easily the worst of the 5 nominees that year, but really, who gives a shit?

I think this was still in the not-at-all-awkward Branford Marsalis era. 

The Leno reveal was hilarious, but man, there's no way in real life that his audience would respond to Miller's antics so warmly.

Chris Hansen-style sting op. here.

All that needs to be said, really.

People know how lame the Oscars are, yet every damn year there's shock and hand-wringing when an unworthy title wins.  Who gives a shit?  And then people go on about how "terrible" the winning film was, simply because it beat better movies (even though it's clearly not terrible, just inferior).