Does sun allergy = vampire? Because that would definitely affect the answer.

Coming soon: Jewish Nazis. And also they're like morbidly obese or something. Only on Discovery.

Coming soon: Jewish Nazis. And also they're like morbidly obese or something. Only on Discovery.

Gaston Means is kind of like the Dollar Store. Except everything always costs $40k.

Gaston Means is kind of like the Dollar Store. Except everything always costs $40k.

I'm guessing the Delaware Tourism Department is behind the Restore the Shore telethon with the Jersey Shore cast members, so as to discourage people from actually donating money and destroying Delaware's competition. Delaware, you sneaking bastard you.

I'm guessing the Delaware Tourism Department is behind the Restore the Shore telethon with the Jersey Shore cast members, so as to discourage people from actually donating money and destroying Delaware's competition. Delaware, you sneaking bastard you.

Anthony Bourdain, Anthony Bourdain…isn't he the guy that was on all those shows with Paula Dean?

Anthony Bourdain, Anthony Bourdain…isn't he the guy that was on all those shows with Paula Dean?

You probably don't watch it to avoid being dragged down with us low-life Americans, but I imagine you as Dennis from Always Sunny in Philadelphia when he dresses up as a colonial era British nobleman (remember when you were still able to hold onto those and other colonies, instead of constantly calling to us upstart,…

You probably don't watch it to avoid being dragged down with us low-life Americans, but I imagine you as Dennis from Always Sunny in Philadelphia when he dresses up as a colonial era British nobleman (remember when you were still able to hold onto those and other colonies, instead of constantly calling to us upstart,…

Welp, that settles that question. Nothing to see here, folks.

Welp, that settles that question. Nothing to see here, folks.

No, get the fuck out of here dude!

No, get the fuck out of here dude!

The only rapper ever to go to jail, in fact.

The only rapper ever to go to jail, in fact.

This reminds me of the time Chris Brown attempted to sue the makers of "The Jerk" for $100 billion and instead was sentenced to be drawn and quartered. Or maybe that was just a (really nice) dream.

This reminds me of the time Chris Brown attempted to sue the makers of "The Jerk" for $100 billion and instead was sentenced to be drawn and quartered. Or maybe that was just a (really nice) dream.

As long as it occurs at a banquet.