Did you watch the episode? Middling positions between sensible and insensible are like eating half a bar of soap instead of a whole bar of soap, when you shouldn't be eating soap at all.

An episode without Laurie Bream is like a day without sunshine. Still, I feel completely vindicated by this episode: I had the subtitles on, and the slang in the credits song is definitively "holmes" and not "homes" (as some would have us believe). Can't be the long form of "homie": it's something else entirely. No…

King's Moon Landing

I'm reading this in the voice of a Hanna Barbera cartoon character, but I can't remember his name.

I'll defend the good intentions ruling if at any time during his confession, he said "I wonder what else they lied to me about." If he didn't, put him under the jail.

I think 6 or 7 additional domestic cats would be enough to upset the balance of power such that humanity doesn't make it out of the dark ages. Cats are adorable, but they will start nibbling on you if you sleep too long.

But what does this have to do with pop culture?

Got a name on that documentary?

What would be the liberal version of this? Probably suing Donald Trump for various indignities, and then tacking on "Also, I got a really bad spray tan once, and I'm very upset."

I've heard that it can be two things.

Naming the network and the parent company might have been a mistake. John Oliver and his writers might not have the time or money to defend themselves against a frivolous lawsuit, but HBO and TimeWarner absolutely do.

Here's a unique (and probably stupid) idea: party term limits. After three terms, a party is not eligible to compete for or occupy the seat for at least one term. If the rep holding the seat wants to keep it, that's fine, as long as s/he switches parties. This would have almost zero effect in the first election cycle,…

Still not welcome on my lawn.

I wish they'd take away Friends, so I'd be forced to watch something new.

I think you should be more grateful. Stopping to allow someone into the traffic stream is a tacit acknowledgement that we are all in this traffic thing together. Even if it's unnecessary, it's symbolically important. People who jealously guard the space in front of their vehicles are assholes, and if everybody drove…

Why would you need to attach a .txt file? Just paste that shit in.

"I know my attachment type" is at least a yellow flag, right?

My understanding is that the earnings of employees at The Gap are proportional to how much work they do.

That's all part of her you're-never-getting-your-own-superhero-movie compensation.

The weird hours is kinda tough sometimes. I live alone for a reason.