As long as nobody tries to get a hold of me.

I don't think mentioning you have a secret account in an interview is keeping it "as secret as a person possibly could."

Correct, it is not that bad.
It is much, much worse.

It's definitely more than just "bits".
It's even more of a direct cop than Airplane! is of Zero Hour.

It's almost literally scene-for-scene the same, except [SPOILER!!!] the original lacks the twist ending. And I mean same dialogue and everything, so I wouldn't give Launer too much credit as the screenwriter. The dialogue that sticks out the most as being unique to the remake is when Martin is in jail trying to recall…

Hey, Beastmaster's On!

'Round the parts I grew up — about an hour's drive west of Chicago — it's sometimes referred to as "party cut". I've seen the phrase "tavern cut" on menus and signs but never actually heard it come out of anyone's mouth.

Fair enough on both points.
I will now continue reading.

I first doubted your claimed authority when you misspelled Chicagoan as Chicagoen.
But when you claimed hot dogs should come on sesame seed buns I stopped reading, and so should've everyone else.

As often as not, whoever I am with gladly eats them. Some days, I eat them too. It's not really that I don't like them, it's just sorta overkill much of the time.

It is ok for us to disagree on this, I think.
I'm just not a fan of anchovies, is all.

No.
Now, the best dogs I've ever had were at Super Duper Weenie in Fairfield, CT. And there are lots of other better-than-Chicago-style dogs in New England and along other parts of the East Coast. (Any opportunity to get a genuine Ripper should be seized, for example.) But down south they don't know jack shit about…

But then I don't get the pleasure of sticking my fingers in my food.

I usually pick the sport peppers off too. But I want them on there to begin with as they juice it up just a little bit.

There's nothing wrong with a hot dog with ketchup.
It's just not a Chicago Dog (<—- note the capital letters.)
Why any fast food joint/hot dog stand would care what you do to their product once you've paid for it is beyond me.

Agreed.
(Also, I'd just as soon there was no actual anchovy on the top. I mean, I'll just pick it off, but the "hint" of anchovy should come from the Worcestershire sauce.)

"If you substitute even one ingredient, it’s no longer a Chicago-style hot dog."
Eh . . . while I do get irritated at a lot of the things people sell as "Chicago Dogs", a cucumber slice is a perfectly acceptable substitution for the pickle slice.

You do realize that a lot of trailers are made long before filming ends, let alone editing, right? They make trailers from the materials on hand by necessity, not to be dishonest.

Or be President.

Jerry Lee Lewis would like a word with you.