Wait, what was the gist of your essay? I'm intrigued.

Sentences?

Seriously! I don't think there's ever been a character I've loathed so much and loved so much simultaneously. What a douche… but I love you, Magic Man.

Friendly tip: Listening to this song may suddenly make you good at Ridiculous Fishing (assuming my experience is generalizable to the rest of the population, which I'm sure it is).

Yeah, I was 3) screaming "Jesse! Forget Walt and get the f out of there! Run, bitch!"

While I was watching, I was thinking exactly the same thing. Obviously Walt wasn't running around in a ghost costume in order to steal someone's gold, and there was neither a talking dog or mystery van, but something about the first 2/3rds of this episode felt very Scooby Dooish to me. At least the last third made up…

It's funny, right? I've known people from small towns in the U.S. who are scared to visit NYC because they think it's dangerous. I'm all, "You realize the murder rate in your tiny Midwest town is like triple the rate of NY, don't you?"

Actually, in the US the age varies depending on the state. I know this because some of my 18- and 19-year-old friends made sure to look it up when they went to college, because they are gross.

I've been questioned by journalists and the police (because I was a victim, not a suspect!) before, and it is nerve-racking. You don't want to accidentally say something incriminating, even if you've done nothing wrong, so there's a lot of incentive to be close-mouthed. The police I dealt with were especially cynical…

Hey, not all of the men in Top of the Lake were evil. SPOILERS: Johnno! And I am not saying that because I find him attractive. Well, maybe a little. Well, maybe a lot.

Yes, AppleJill's right. I felt the same way you did about the first two series, but in series 3 the whole thing goes up a level, like a character in Final Fantasy, except with more cursing. I don't know how they did it, but they made Malcolm Tucker… well, likeable isn't the best word, but he at least becomes a human…

Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: pull down your pants and slide on the ice.

Curse you, Google!!

Not judging, just pointing out. Who am I to judge? I married a ferengi.

Just so we're all on the same page here, Stewart's fiancee is 31, which means she was 12 when TNG ended and 5 when it premiered.

Dean Norris, you think you're sooo tricky. We know you ripped that script off from Adventure Time. The long blond hair reveal, the trip to Mars, the tone of general awesomeness… At least you didn't have Walt, Jr. singing the Bacon Pancakes song. That would have been a step too far.

Everyone's burying the lede here. The top 20 puppies were fine, but did you all see Too Cute! Kittens? The episode was called "Puffy Beach Kitties." PUFFY BEACH KITTIES.

Noooo, the narration is amazing! Writing that crap is, like, my dream job. The puns! My god, the puns!

Greg Kelly for head of Homeland Security!

Wait for it. Even if you've never seen or liked her in anything ever (which, how?! go watch Peep Show now!), you will get the Colman come the last episode. Promise.