My babysitter told me, and it blew my mind.

Well, I thought he was dead, so a cop is a step up I guess.

Man, I am by no means a Ted Cruz fan, but one of my litmus tests for whether or not a person is okay is whether or not they're willing to attempt to do an impression, and risk looking completely silly in the process. Cruz's Billy Crystal here is actually not bad (unlike his cringe-worthy Simpsons voices), but I give…

That's not actually true—Cruz's parents were both American citizens at the time of his birth, so he's a natural born citizen regardless of where he was born. Obama's father wasn't a citizen, hence his birthplace is crucial to his status as "natural-born" (maybe; "natural-born" isn't an actual legal term, so it's open…

They also were terrible about editing swears out of their movies. I remember seeing "Howling II" and when the chick says "Your sister is a werewolf" the other guy says "Bullshit" AND THEY LEFT IT IN!!! This was probably during the daytime too! Classic USA was the best!!!

She saw me through puberty single-handed, if you know what I mean.

I've still got my Commander USA (and Lefty) Fan Club membership card!

Richard Lewis would be pleased to hear you think he's younger than 50! But yeah, Woody Allen's stand-up is good stuff.

YES! I remembered the show but not the title. Thanks for saving me forty minutes of fruitless Googling.

Thanks! Yeah, it's not a deal-breaker to me or anything, and I get that a fifty-year run of the strip is going to have some inconsistencies of continuity (although I like to think that precocious Linus was able to get promoted a couple of grades to put him on par with Charlie Brown).

Commercials for this movie make it appear that Charlie Brown and Peppermint Patty attend the same school in this. (In the strip, Peppermint Patty and Marcie attend school in the "next town over.") Can anyone confirm/deny?

Not that anyone cares, but my theory is that Luke is going to show up at the end of this one and play a larger part in the next two movies.

Here's an easier idea: just license the James Bond theme song to any spy movie anyone wants to make. That's basically what most of these suggestions would wind up being anyway, if they were to exist.

I didn't have an answer for this, then I remembered the 1986 remake of "Invaders From Mars." When that kid walked in on his teacher eating the dissection frog, I was like, "NOPE."

The Harold Lloyd movie? He DOES look young for his age!

Holy crap! They showed a snippet of that on the TODAY Show this morning, and I thought Jon Hamm was Bob Saget.

You, sir, have exhausted my knowledge of Carson Daly trivia.

According to Wikipedia, it's still on but Carson Daly seems to have limited involvement with it these days. They never mention it on TODAY. It also looks like maybe he expected to get the Late Night gig instead of Seth Meyers, so possibly they put him on the TODAY Show as a way of making up for that?

They've been teasing this thing for weeks. By this point, TODAY SHOW superfans(!) expect something elaborate (and Matt Lauer to dress in drag), so it would have been a huge letdown if they looked too much like normal people. Plus, they wouldn't be getting this kind of sweet sweet AV Club coverage if they did!

REAL TALK: Savannah looks pretty hot and they don't have enough manpower to make Tamron Hall unattractive, but I still have wonderful, wonderful dreams about the time Natalie Morales dressed as pointy-bra era Madonna that one year.