I'm a new dad. I don't do that stuff, but I'm also not an apologist. The only thing worse than listening to a new dad go on about some kid that you had no sexual role in creating is listening to some non-dad go on about all the dumb, pointless, self-absorbed bullshit we used to waste our time with before our…

Anyone who uses "should be shot" to describe "anyone who" (usually) has issues with proportion in punishment.

Rapping grannies - tired an unfunny
Raping grannies - well, that depends on a lot of things…

Watchmen 2: Saw VI

irony - The use of words to express something different from and often opposite to their literal meaning.

The advertisers shall be snackrificed.

I'll see your mythology/execuspeak and raise you paint color/anachronism.

Blartsport

A deer.

What would make us feel better is throwing things in the offenders' hole.

Blackula: Pages from a Mad Black Woman's Diary
Madea Goes to the Mayor
Madea: Beyond Thunderdome
Mad Dog Madea
A Clockwork Madea

I am calling shenanigans on radio. Britney has been on the radio for years, and from my perspective, it didn't just become childish now. It is far too late to take a stand on the "quality" issue just because it's the only alternative to saying the content is too "F word-y".

We are too fat to riot. And that's one of the many distinctions between our current political situation and that of pre-Bastille day France. Also, in France it kind of became a habit.

Parenting
I don't see what the big deal is. I have a 7 year old daughter, and if it weren't for the middle finger it would be difficult to answer questions like "Can you make me something to eat?" and "Will you help me with my homework?"

If you decapitate Dane Cook, each part will sprout into a complete Dane Cook and they will do a wacky romcom about twins who are dating the same girl who doesn't know that they're twins but in the end theres a twist and she's twins too and they have a double wedding and the whole world barfs in their mouth a little…

Bad faith is when it wakes up every 2 hours in the middle of the night, and pees on your face when you take it's diaper off and then my wife mails it to Bob Saget.