Proto: Google padre Alberto Cutie for your typical Miami priest: tan, white teeth, buff and having an affair with a parishioner.

Five gets you ten those yahoos have no idea what's in a carbonara. And a fried egg on top is a little less common. It never occurred to me to try it until I saw Jacques Pepin do it on one of his shows (and now it's one of my favorite I-don't-feel-like-cooking meals).

You've got a good point there and I wonder if the producers lined up the challenges to ensure Art's homey cooking had a shot. When they were looking at the list of chefs who would make the finals good TV, you know they were rooting for him.

I hope the next season of Top Chef contestants (who must be filming right now for the season to start in August) are watching. It would be nice to see them adjust their attitudes part way through the season.

I prefer to think of the intro to Me and Him to be more like the opening of The Courtship of Eddie's Father: "Let me tell you about my best friend…"

With all of the other flavors balancing the smoke with honey, cream and the nuttiness and caramel from the almond brittle I mixed in, the ice cream actually came out more reminiscent of a shot of scotch than a mug of lapsang. That said, I do like a mug of lapsang too, but only with a fair bit of sugar.

At least we now have the obligatory cross-promotion episode behind us before the contest proper begins and can now never speak of it again.

Oh, colorful neighborhoods. I forgot the colorful neighborhoods. Their version of Southie was no Southie.

It appears that Portland is going to be body-doubling for Boston. It didn't really work in this episode as Boston's distinctive brownstones, points of historical interest, idiosyncratic street plan, god-awful traffic and weather, extensive subway system, and college-town atmosphere were all missing. But if you haven't…

The cocktail party guests
With all the talk about BIG fans and SMALL plates, was anyone else disappointed when the party-room doors opened and didn't reveal 100 midgets? I honestly thought that's where they going with that.

I've made a lapsang-honey ice cream that turned out fabulously so I know it can work in a dessert, but I also know that's it's tricky. The smokiness infuses into cream quite intensely so you have to cut it with other flavors to tone it down. If you have a spoonful of Nil's ganache with a little of the smoky cream, it…

Patton H. Oswalt III.

A Free Man of Color
Barbara Hambly's series of mystery/thriller novels set in early 1800's New Orleans would make good long-form adaptions, but would probably be better as a basis for a more traditional series. Lots of interest to be mined in the shifting class and racial politics as the American empire encroaches on…

Actually, he wrote four novels. The fourth novel was slated for publication several times, but the publishers kept going out of business before it could happen and Hughart eventually gave up.

Aren't the original colonists elderly for most of the trilogy? They'll have to cast young actors for the start of the series and either use aging make-up (which never works at least on a TV budget) or recast. Or, I suppose, just improve the books' longevity treatments to keep everyone looking young.

Those overalls make me think of Sarah Jane Smith's Andy Pandy outfit in the Dr. Who episode Hand of Fear. Seems a more apt comparison.

At the end of the 2nd episode Suzanne Tracht said she was pleased her win showed she could still cook. I wonder how many viewers knew enough about what chefs do day-to-day to understand what she meant.

I've never heard of David Burtka so his presence anywhere at that table got me to speculating. Since they weren't sitting together, thus eliminating any potential canoodling, I came to no firm conclusions.

Secret Canadians
Just a related aside. There was a change in Canadian law last April that granted citizenship everyone born to a Canadian parent between 1947 and '77. You (like I) may now be a secret Canadian! One benefit: it made Trainer funnier.