Just rewatched season 1 as a precursor to the Season 4 premiere, and you are correct, this is a cracker of an opening.

I was blissfully unaware of anything but the title to that song, til now.

"siiigh— it's the weight gain"
(you must imagine that said in David Spade's voice)

Randy's outfit was fitting of Mary's brother Warren in Something About Mary.

Lawyer A,

that seems to be Kelly's m.o., party and be lazy while she is not recording and touring, then get into somewhat decent shape before she punches in to work.
I think she looked great last night, close to where she needs to be.

Not to besmirch the integrity of Idol…
…but maybe the fix was in for Haley to stay, to keep a little diversity?

I instantly remembered that Call Me was from American Gigolo (and I'm not that old). And as soon as I heard that that was her choice, I knew she was sunk. It's a shouty song, even for a good singer. She was TERRIBLE.

Having Will.I.Am give you music lessons is like having Henri Paul give you driving lessons.

remember the viral video of the African American weatherman (a bit fey, it must be said) screaming on live tv as a roach ran past his greenscreen? Give him some deeeeeeep notes and 40 poiunds, and we have your man Jacob.

fake.
shock absorbers were extra.

random cursing and no one is fingering the guy with Tourette's?

she IS starring opposite Liam Neeson in "Unknown". As if that guy hasn't had a bad enough year.

maybe he'll cover "Try Again"next week?

I was very bummed that I found the >Pod F. Tomkast not in the leasdt funny. I do, however, find it soothing. Makes me pleasantly sleeeeepy.

P-Jenny
Jennifer Lopez and Sean Combs seems so long ago … that was two marriages, two babies and one engagement ago for her. So, about 7 years?

Randy buries his meager critiques in the middle of his knob-polishing.

actually Mr. Lambert, I'm surprised you have nothing to say about the Tourette's Tail who is clearly emulating your son. At least his falsetto wail.

over/under on Ashley's marriage? Domestic violence charges in about 6 months?

she did switch wigs between Vegas and the long, long walk through the aircraft hangar, perhaps her 'do was different during Hollywood Week and she slipped your notice?