Speaking of boring
Bertolucci. His movies are overlong, pretentious, lifeless, and really, really fucking boring. I suffered through a screening of The Sheltering Sky at the National Gallery once, and I felt kind of relieved when Campbell Scott finally died. It's colonialist bullshit masquerading as art, and that goes…

Devastating
This film pretty much ruined Brokeback Mountain for me; it's just so much less respectable and muted. Any description of the plot makes it seem much more trite than it really is; this is one harrowing film. The scene with Billy Drago as the AIDS-riddled john who just wants to be touched is one of the most…

Sure, Kenneth was always a yokel, but he was also a starstruck naif who wanted nothing more than to be in the warm, warm glow of making TV. Not that he ever had much depth, and maybe it's just that giving him more airtime is revealing what a 2D character he really is, but he seems more of a caricature than in seasons…

Jonathan, Josh, Toofer, Hornberger, Lutz: they are all victims of a ballooning guest star budget, it seems. Frankly, I'd rather see Josh's Christopher Walken impression or Toofer's indignant, misguided political correctness than Salma Hayek's cleavage trying to act.

Angela Merkel used to pal around with Andreas Baader
I know it's not really in the running (too violent; not a "celebration of the human spirit" or whatever pretentious wordshit trailer voice-overs use; accused in Germany of romanticizing terrorism), but The Baader-Meinhof Complex is definitely worth watching. It's by…

I'm laughing
Since you asked, that just made Schindler's List very funny, rather than a heavy-handed manipulative melodrama. Also: JSTOR. Very funny.

Fight Club and Lenin
I use this film to teach Leninism: Project Mayhem is essentially a revolutionary cell requiring members to give up their individuality for the greater good. Actually, Fight Club can be used to teach anything, except maybe Ayn Rand and Milton Friedman. They're wallies.

Cool Republican celebrities
Didn't McCain also get Bucky Bright's support?

Moore v. Miller
Nathan, I'm not sure I buy that "[it] is no exaggeration to call Watchmen creator Alan Moore and The Dark Knight Returns author Frank Miller two of the architects of contemporary pop culture." Miller, sure, but not Moore: the turn our culture has made since McG (and Frank Miller, for that matter) was…

Driving along
You know what other movie has a long, long, long driving sequence? Solaris.

My name is Michael Caine
I always had a sweet spot for Michael Caine, myself. It's goofy, catchy, and somehow still a sophisticated meditation on fandom and celebrity. Plus it has Michael Caine.

Ragamuffin
Noel,

Use it to give Torgo new cartilage for his knees.

But seriously
Shouldn't we be signing petitions for pretentious-ass motherfuckers who think their pig swill is 25-year old single malt? That's right, I'm looking at you, Ed Burns!

When your name
is consistently more interesting (or logical or has a better plot) than your movies - unless your name is Leni Riefenstahl or Chesty LaRue or something like that - perhaps it's time to consider going back to making Smashmouth videos. Wait, does Smashmouth even exist anymore? Well, Mr McGinty Nichols, I…

Enough with the Iraqsloitation, already
Iraq is the new black, apparently. Too bad good intentions don't pave the road to good entertainment; I can't for the life of me figure out why this movie exists. It's not that it's necessarily bad (although this review certainly does nothing to assuage my fears on that point),…