This episode made me pretty much despise the border patrol guys.  Well, at least the one who wouldn't shut up about how far behind they were while trying to find the fire challenge.  Seriously, how many times did he mention it?  12?  14?  The fact that his buddy kept telling him to shut the hell up made me realize who…

This was another one of those episodes where I had no idea who even ranked in the top and bottom three, even during the judging.  Only when they discussed it by themselves afterward was I like, "Oh, ok, Michael was in the top three?"  They had negative things to say about Mila's outfit, but no one seemed to vehemently…

Nega-Heidi was SCREAMING her lines when they were outside of the UN.  I get it, you're outdoors, but you're miked, take it down a notch.  Also, it really bugs me when she says the line, "The saying goes 'One day you're in, and the next you're out,' and that's never more true than on All-Stars."  No, it's equally true,…

Well said.  Sarah tries, but it's quite possible she's illiterate.  Who quits high school to become a chef?  Wait a year!  That's so odd to me.

"We're all such good friends."  "We're like the Three Musketeers!"  "I always knew it would be us three in the final, we've become so close."  Yada yada yada, shut up!  Nobody cares!  You're three of the most boring contestants ever to appear in the final episodes of Top Chef.  And the fact that they kept repeating it…

Sarah remarked several times about how Paul obviously has the Quickfire in the bag because it's an Asian-themed challenge, and then during the prep time for the elimination challenge, Tom asked Paul how he possibly could have choked during the Quickfire.  The guy works for a Japanese restaurant if I'm not mistaken, so…

The Talented Mr. Ripley is Minghella's crowning achievement.  That film is simultaneously beautiful, nerve-racking, heartbreaking, and unsettling.  Every actor is at the top of their game, and I honestly don't think Damon has ever been better.  I've always thought of it as Minghella's homage of Hitchcock, from the…

The sex scene between Jude Law and Nicole Kidman near the end of Cold Mountain is very…arousing.  Seriously, that ranks up there to me as one of the hottest sex scenes in a movie, which is ironic considering Kidman always comes across as such an ice queen.  Maybe it's just me, but that's always what sticks out (heh)…

You're right, I forgot about that.  Looking back, strange it wasn't played up more.

But don't you get it?  They're clowns!  CLOWNS!!!  This is a TAR first!  They gotta play it up as much as they can.  I wonder if the clowns found the show, or the show found the clowns, like the producer mandated it this season.  I could see that happening.

"These clowns, at whom no one…is laughing."

It clearly was a backyard with some chickens, that's the best part.  I imagine at some point the girls were told the scenario and responded, "Wait, chickens?  Because we're Southern?  Isn't that insulting?"  But they went with it anyway because it was all in "good fun"  Sure, TAR producers, sure. 

I'm sure the producers really want the contestants to play up their personalities during the filmed intros for the premiere, and I'm sure they give them a few region-specific props.  But damn, Kerri and Stacy pushing one another in a wheelbarrow (you know, because they're Southern), and then the wheelbarrow…

Agreed.  I was excited because I was convinced that there wasn't a single sporting event that could prevent the show from starting late, and then I turn on at the TV at 7, and it's the middle of freakin' 60 Minutes.  I HATE that!  Especially when it's something like a profile on Michael Buble, and I have no idea how…

Aside from the intro, I have no recollection of these girls.  At all.  When I read this re-cap, I couldn't remember them even doing the challenges.  And you would think the producers would really play them up and the whole "Badass Female Federal Agents" thing.

That was the best part.  Phil REALLY rubbed it in there.  But it did almost seem like a legitimate, unscripted response on his part.  I think he was just completely dumbfounded by their ineptitude.  That may rank as one of the all-time great elimination Phil-isms.  But the problems they had with the balloon challenge…

Imagine, for one second, Jen, Kevin, and the Voltaggio brothers doing this challenge.  Try to picture that in your head.  It's unfathomable.

FUCK THIS ENTIRE SEASON!  It was only a few weeks ago we were discussing if this season was worse than New York, and Texas actually got some defenders, and those people made some valid points.  But now…holy shit.  There is no sane defense.  If Paul somehow doesn't win this thing, then we will have truly found the…

I also went and watched the Oscar-nominated animated shorts, as well as the live-action shorts.  I agree, I thought all of the animated shorts were surprisingly strong, although I can't decide if my favorite was "Wild Life" or "Fantastic Flying Books."  Their animation styles were wildly different but both beautiful…

I thought it was interesting that when Lindsay was in the stew room, she said something like, "I just didn't want to humiliate Michelle publicly again."  Was there another incident that I am forgetting or unaware of, or is she referring to past challenges on Top Chef?  Or her overall bitch attitude this entire…