Everyone knows that it's not gay until you're shopping for the china pattern.

"One eight hundred, em ay tee tee ar ee ess!"

"Westchester County Fair commercials"

Goddamn, George Liquor (pun intended), I'm using that.

I imagine he's preparing. Those rapin' shivs don't just make themselves, yanno.

Go easy, Mabel!

Excuse me. Uss-WEE-pay Johnson.

My official submission to the "Geekiest Teen on Earth" contest: first time I heard that, I thought, "Wait, that wasn't 30 seconds!" I've never timed it, though, until today: 54 seconds, give or take.

Every time I tried to read the trilogy (though admittedly it's been years), I get through Inferno fine, but fall asleep (and no other book has ever made me fall asleep) around… Canto 11, I think it is, of Purgatory. I recall something about an eagle at that point.

@SouthofHeaven: I heard Tori's version before Slayer's (I know, I know), and it was enough time between the two that I completely missed the connection for a while. My mind, it was blown.

*drops pencil into your ass-crack*

To me, the only reasons to go to Salon regularly are the comics (except Story Minute) and Glenn Greenwald. The thing is, those are so goddamned awesome that Salon becomes a passable site.

"Big Momma's House 3"

"Land of the Lost"

Go to hell, smelly-face!

"Shandi, the former Miss USA…"
I was flipping through and saw a Shandi-less episode of Lingo today. I'm not up on my Lingo history, so I don't know if this was early or more recent. If the latter, maybe she figured out her keyboard wasn't attached to anything and quit in a fury of righteous indignation.

Dunce Caps: They're Not Just For 1930s Classrooms Anymore!TM

There's gotta be a place for an In-N-Out Composite Number x Composite Number Burger in this. Dessert?

It's really not. "Are they more likely to vote for us than the other guys? We likes 'em!"

Downside: you'd break your account on multi-tap-type accessories alone.