*lights cigarette, inhales deeply, blows smoke in audience member's face, interrupts guest with nonsensical argument, waves arms, has heart attack, dies*

It depends on if you're puking it, you liberal!

Here's whats redeeming: the totally realistic casting!
1. 'luckless single gal' Jennifer Garner
2. 'phone sex operator' Anne Hathaway
3. Jessica Biel, who can't manage to lure a man into her 'mantrap'

Katy Perry
Her next endorsement deal will be for her team of plastic surgeons. Oh, and her implant manufacturer.

I vote for 'Pajayjays'.

Toys on the floor! Whatcha gonna do!
Get out your Suck It and suck it!
Yeah!

Just the way that guy pronounced 'may-naise' cracked me up.

Lisa Lampanelli is bigger and slower, but would hit way harder. She also possesses a devastating shriek attack, which is very damaging within 150 meters.

Yes, she is. Untalented and unfunny, but cute as a bug's ass.

Now, if the villain were Ed Grimley, that would really be outstanding, I must say.

A few variations I've seen:

ZMF digs the white fatties, eh?

Close, Sheltie—I think you mean !SSA TO ASS!

Bleh. She looks like a plucked chicken. Have a sandwich, bony ass.

Urinalysis

Cap'n Acrab!!
Pearl, Pearl—-whar be Pearl!

That's exactly what she did, dude.

"Loco Rojo Coco" !

Gah! I should've scrolled down! Why, Lord, why??!!

Get Gary England on the phone!