You'd be surprised how quickly those things turn dark.

It was good.  You know, the thing about that movie that most surprised me is that I did not hate Gerard Butler as Aufidius.

Awful, awful hair.

Awwwww.

The producers wish they hired zombie Houston.

Furthermore, it was a documentary filmed in real time.

What's that, Dawes?  You want me to…kill Pablo Cruise?

"Watch out, Coach Landry, it's a peg-and-gear system!"

No, Todd VanDerWerff, leave me alone!

Sparks…can I marry people?

Philip Roth: Uncut (save the mohel's tax)

@avclub-3db41011acc2d229176bf6a92202728d:disqus For what it's worth, my family is Texan and we make our chili like so: Beef, chili pepper, tomato, kidney beans, and nothing else.  Not strict traditionalists, but there must be beef and absolutely no corn, or any other sort of husky adulterants.

"I dunno how to say this without sounding offensive or sexist…"

Restraining orders, man.  They are a bitch.

…A witch!  A witch!

It's like some kind of beautiful dream.

Democracy!

Hey, that thing is heavy and he is but one tiny, tiny man.

I fail to see what is so ridiculous about that.

I'll just take a handful for the road.