Fifty Shades is nowhere near as quirky and weird and bizarre to read or to read about as Twilight. It's a very straight and conventional romance-novel story only with all the sex stuff made super explicit instead of hidden behind discreet fades to black. It doesn't have "THIS IS THE SKIN OF A KILLER" or people getting…

Yeah, Roseanne's asshole boss turns out to be more than just an asshole boss but a deeply conflicted gay man with a repressed romantic side and sympathetic issues he's going through (and Roseanne to her credit forgets about her resentment of him as an asshole boss when she begins to empathize with his being shat on…

Yeah, Roseanne's asshole boss turns out to be more than just an asshole boss but a deeply conflicted gay man with a repressed romantic side and sympathetic issues he's going through (and Roseanne to her credit forgets about her resentment of him as an asshole boss when she begins to empathize with his being shat on…

Wow, I wish there were a dislike button for this post.

Wow, I wish there were a dislike button for this post.

Which is weird, because I seriously think she's significantly less charismatic and has worse acting chops than either of them.

Which is weird, because I seriously think she's significantly less charismatic and has worse acting chops than either of them.

The drama *about* Twilight has always been considerably more entertaining than any drama *in* Twilight, and I am genuinely sad to see that the era of batshit crazy stories about this series and its fans is coming to an end.

The drama *about* Twilight has always been considerably more entertaining than any drama *in* Twilight, and I am genuinely sad to see that the era of batshit crazy stories about this series and its fans is coming to an end.

The haunted, haggard look in his eyes in that interview after he's just been rescued from a convention filled with Twihards never fails to make me chuckle.

The haunted, haggard look in his eyes in that interview after he's just been rescued from a convention filled with Twihards never fails to make me chuckle.

Little-known fact: George Washington's nephew was a modestly talented lawyer who was appointed Supreme Court Justice largely due to nepotism.

Little-known fact: George Washington's nephew was a modestly talented lawyer who was appointed Supreme Court Justice largely due to nepotism.

The second "s" is a little one. It'd be "kifs my afs".

The second "s" is a little one. It'd be "kifs my afs".

It's totally hilarious — Franklin wrote this guide to daily living for himself that gets reprinted in a lot of high school textbooks, stuff like "Go to bed early" and "Make yourself a daily schedule" and other tedious truisms, but one of his little tips for healthy living was "Use venery in moderation", and it's…

It's totally hilarious — Franklin wrote this guide to daily living for himself that gets reprinted in a lot of high school textbooks, stuff like "Go to bed early" and "Make yourself a daily schedule" and other tedious truisms, but one of his little tips for healthy living was "Use venery in moderation", and it's…

Don't forget what a tiny tiny man James Madison was.

Don't forget what a tiny tiny man James Madison was.

There's not wanting to do something — like your taxes, or your homework, or whatever — and there's actively refusing to do it and, when the authority in question insists, beginning to shoot people.