Fast-track to citizenship. Seriously.

"…spent most of a weekend eating ice cream and watching Futurama."

"I really can't think of anything worse as a symbol than a skull."

I envy people who fit in. Anywhere. In high school I was the shy bookish guy who was also into loud music and played in a band and raced BMX, so I had my music and bike friends but was a loner in school. In my professional life I was always the odd "creative" in agencies with toys all over his cubicle who didn't know…

Even as a man with no vagina, the term "vaginal dilation therapy" made me cringe and physically shiver. It sounds like you're unusually brave to confront challenges head-on and do something about them rather than do what most of us do: some kind of passive-aggressive thing to avoid it. Keep up the amazing work.

This is more like rationalization and feel-good pop psych, but have you considered that there may be many soulmates out there, 'cos of the seven billion peeps roaming this ball of mud and grass odds are you could profoundly connect with more than one? Love ain't a zero-sum game. Do you still love your wife? Do you…

Agreed. Jack's playing and singing is actually pretty damn good, but I go for strained balls-out emotion over technical prowess any day. That's the magic of the White Stripes is that they had a vision and they were not technically gifted, so they had to find an interesting way to achieve that vision. If you can reach…

I am not the biggest Yes fan but skimming around, I…

Yeah, a few years ago the VeloNews letters to the editor were on the level of the screeching in political website comments. There were two vocal camps: Lance is a Superior Specimen of a Man You Assholes, and He's an Evil Doper and I Don't Care if He's Passed Every Test.

Yeah, his smear campaign against LeMond was petty, ruthless, mean. I was never closer than three degrees of separation from LA when I raced, but his reputation was just terrible.

I liked the live-action version because of that lack of possibilities. When you put the Tick in our realistic, nondescript world it really hammers home the surreal mundanity of his life. The lack of possibilities kind of brings the weirdness into high relief, if that makes sense.

He's a little unusual as a club owner. I've played more venues than I can remember and I'd say one-third to one-fourth were run professionally, one-fourth were just drunks who happened to have access to a room and a shitty PA, and the rest were just functional. When you play a venue that is run like a business, it…

Born and raised in the Panhandle of Florida. Buffet is, if nothing else, a (semi)sentient personification of the state's core "culture."

As I sit here in a sealed office under fluorescent lights typing grimly at a grimy keyboard, the the thought of being paid to play music that makes people happy doesn't sound all that bad.

Yeah, but everyone exists in their own little insulated vacuum, defined by the PRECISE moment their sexual prowess peaked. Everything Will Always Be The Best it Ever Was When I Was 19 Syndrome. Paul McCartney can't get into Tyga's party. Old people bitch about new music sounding like noise and young people bitch about…

This. Elections are not about getting people to choose between candidates, but about mobilizing the masses to put down their crack pipes and beer bongs and vote. Trump v Sanders = "GODDAM TRUMP'S A CRAZY SUMMABITCH BUT I'LL BE DAMNED IF I'M GONNA LET A GODDAM COMMUNIST IN THE WHITE HOUSE."

As big an XTC fan as I was, my heart goes out to anyone who'd have to interview Partridge. I think that was a great question, and one that should be asked of every celebrity as a sort of litmus test for humor and/or slef-awareness.

Thanks to this interview. "One Step Ahead" is now running on repeat in my head. This is a good thing. Talk about making something pure pop candy and deeply unsettling at once. Finn's a freaking stellar songwriter.

Yeah, Charade was the first role I thought of, too. Kennedy was one of those guys who, when he entered a movie, just made me glad he was there.

I've known a couple guys who seemed to have a switch in their brains (or dicks) flip around Asian women. I guess it's relatively commonplace, and must be very strange for the objects of their interest. While I know that this is a "duh, yes you are defining racism" statement, my gratitude toward a woman expressing…