Never mind. Here is the winner. I knew Whitesnake was bad, but this shit can't even be parodied.

Smell the Glove, by Spinal Tap. "A greased, naked woman on all fours with a dog collar around her neck and a leash, and a man's arm extended out…holding on to the leash and pushing a black glove in her face to sniff it."

Nah, as mentioned above I always come out ENTJ. It's some kind of shorthand for self-absorbed arrogant judgmental impatient prick, I'm told. As if I care.

I'm an ENTJ, apparently the most common Myers-Briggs amongst sociopaths and rich narcissistic assholes. I do genuinely wonder if dating sites should look at these tests. Every label is just an attempt to classify the specific in general terms but the testing is pretty well planned and in my case has given consistent…

A totally berserk period at work, a bout of bronchitis, a few long plane trips… self-abuse really can forgotten, though when the time and urge to release come back I find I tend to binge.

The whining sounds at least as painful. But yeah, I once got a "Look, I'm a petite woman, and ouch" request… and with communication, understanding, foreplay a plenty and desire, these things can be worked out, unless I suppose he's genuinely a couple standard deviations from the norm (i.e. could make a comfortable…

It's valuable information like this that makes me come back to the AVC time and time again. However, being blessed by my French and Hebrew ancestors with fur-a-plenty, I think it would take one of those James Bond villain lasers that are usually used to cut tungsten or destroy spaceships to nuke the forest in my…

Yeah me too, but jazz hands make me look feminine

To a guy, I think a dick pic is a) a sort of sharing and proof of our arousal, and b) the only thing we can really flirt with. I mean we have very few options, in terms of allowing a peek at a body part, And yes, women can like porn, dick pics, motorcycles, guitars, and even the Oxford comma while still being all…

I thunk it's just a matter of paying attention. No real method. Did she like that? Do it again. Did she not? Don't do it again. And for me (I hope) what helps it to remember there's a time for the tip of your tongue and a time for the flat part.
Bless the communicative sex partners who will tell us what works.

There is a flip site to knowing one's partner well, and that was I guess the genesis of the writer to Dan. I've been with a woman who, due to some magic of geometry and physiology, has her g-spot pressed "just right" by the end of my penis if I do a certain angle ("31 degrees, 33 degrees… 30 degrees…)

Read briefly through all the answers below… a few questions occurred to me.

Is it creepy to say it's just the individual? For the most part I find "within a few years" the most attractive, and that's a hell of a realization when you genuinely are scoping out teen girls' mothers instead of the girls. But I did meet - in a platonic way - a college student who's 27 years younger (Rickster is…

I have a Filipina colleague who tells stories of her family in accents so broad, with actions so offensive, but are so damn funny that I'm torn between encouraging her to become a stand-up comedian and telling her shut up before an entire nation disowns her.

I want a Marilyn Monrobot

It's a little odd that they inspired Duran Duran. I'm not a D2 hater but talk about two very different interpretations of the same muse.

Sadly XTC (or Partridge-ignoring-Moulding) somehow put out those dreadful Apple Venus CDs and blew the whole going out on top thing. Those records were so bad they made me retroactively like gems like Black Sea and English Settlement less. And I know this makes no sense at all.

Yeah, Super Extra Gravity is superb and so is Gran Turisimo and… well, honestly they never had a bad record. I was drawn to them for the distance between the sugary pop melodies, kind of dry, unprocessed sounds and lyrics that are often emotionally brutal. I'm not sure any other band has ever quite mastered that that…

Yeah, that part of the review was jarring. Atonal? And if you can't say anything nice about Schoenberg, sit right here next to me.

I wanted to offer a counterpoint but…