It's funny that you had to explain that chin flick because that always seemed to me to be one of the world's most communicative wordless gestures.

The premise also had the fun side effect of explaining, at least partially, why the cast was so great-looking. Maximum-hotness Scarlett Johannsen is the clone of a world-famous model. That huge guy from the beginning is an NFL all-star.

That was more of a thing in the original Transformers, yeah. The Autobots were generally cars and vans, as the name implies. The Decepticons were badass jets and stuff.

Well, Brad Pitt is absurdly beautiful so that probably helps. Plus he's a genuinely talented actor which just seems sort of unfair.

Swanson is definitely bigger and more athletic-looking. She actually has some pretty impressive shoulders, not to mention managing to look as unconvincing as a high-schooler as Luke Perry which is really saying something.

To be honest, the vampires do look sort of stupid. They probably would have been better off going with simple fangs and contact lenses.

It's probably equally true that he has no firm opinion about whether season 6 sucked or it didn't, in terms of the final product.

Yeah, Tom didn't handle this interview especially well. On the other hand, this is probably the 300th-or-so time he's been in this basic situation so I can't get too worked up that he didn't bring his A-game.

I love that small series of exchanges. He's stiff and wrong on every level but not in any way that would set off klaxons. Certainly not in any way that would make you think he's secretly an East German terrorist.

Not sure I completely agree with that. It's weird to literally send a character into exile—to send him penniless to the furthest reaches of the planet—only for him just … get back to town all of a sudden. The whole point of exile is that it isn't easy to do that.

The floor was absolutely covered in broken glass with more falling on it every minute and he was being shot at and flanked by multiple terrorists with machine guns. If he wasn't gone in the next ten seconds he was dead.

McClane. Hans has his back to the board and hasn't seen it in any obvious way.

Their mistake for not being fit, barrel-chested model-handsome actors in their late 20s. One of life's little cruelties is that Marlon Brando looked astonishingly good in a stained white t-shirt because he was, well, Marlon Brando.

TV shows must be a real devil's bargain for moderately successful actors like him. On the one hand, it's steady work for great money. On the other hand, it means that you're basically locked into what every single person you ever meet is going to immediately think of and reference.

I appreciate that for all NCIS's general lack of ambition, they at least have the courage to engage in a real-time experiment to determine How Old Is Too Old To Be Goth.

The West Wing spent about a quarter of its budget trying to make Rob Lowe look frumpy. They didn't manage it—they were overwhelmed by general, atomic-grade handsomeness—but they made a truly noble effort.

BEVERLY YOU HOT SLUT

I found the concept to be a hilarious mismatch with the content. The internal politics and office-shuffling aspects would be right at home in, say, a game about the French Resistance to the Nazi occupation of Paris. Assassinate this SS officer, so his underling gets promoted, so on and so forth.

War Zone was a deliberately schlocky D-movie, mind you. The effects didn't even look particularly good at the time. Pretty fucking entertaining, too.

Oh, Griffin isn't too particular about what kind of giant creature swallows him whole.