Fine, can we start over? I honestly wasn't expecting you to be so receptive!

You suggested that your idea would have been better for the show and more suited to the character. I was using strong language in an effort to wake you up to the fact that that's an outlandish claim. You're not a comedy writer, sit back and allow yourself to learn something about the art form.

It's also not unheard of for people to project their own insecurities onto characters in fiction. That's what you're doing. You're welcome for this free analysis.

I'm not angry at all. I was poking fun at you, your general self-absorption, and hoping to inspire some kind of self-reflection.

Similarly, I have a one-ponytail-per-year policy with shows.

I'm glad you're not writing the show. You thought it would be more interesting for it to have happened the way you wanted it to happen? That is interesting! Do you only enjoy shows where the characters act in ways that you can personally relate to? You know what would have been more true to the character of Ilana than…

I can't think of another show that has delighted me quite this much, and in such an oddly specific and unique way. It would be challenging to describe to someone else who doesn't watch the show how a case of Dasani water could be so amusing. Although Chip may have made several failed attempts at landing a punchline,…

I think given what we know about Jimmy, who he is and who he becomes, it's only logical to think that he's working some kind of a scheme.

It's sweet that you think that I think they hire editors.

"But this is also a show that digs the occasional homage, which tend to
land exactly as well as the original can be mapped over the characters
in the Nine-Nine."

This is my favorite show on TV right now.

I will watch this regardless of quality.

And a real shame that Rowlands didn't win the Oscar for A Woman. I love Ellen Burstyn, and think it's a shame she didn't win an Oscar for her performance in Requiem, but Rowlands really deserved it that year. P.S. Not sure why I care, because the Oscars are not and have never been about who deserves it the most. But I…

Why aren't you writing the show?

Right, I'm not actually suggesting that anyone who likes the show is living in a state of denial. There are things here and there that I have found more amusing than others, I'm just mourning the loss of what I once found to be a consistently funny and original show.

There's also their distinctly different hair and accents.

Right. It's not even that there aren't outright laughs, but that there's a lack of freshness at this point. Not every scene has to be laugh out loud funny, but certainly some of it should be mildly amusing. Even things that should work - like having the hilarious Jillian Bell on the show - seem to fall flat. This…

I feel like the show has so gradually and subtly turned unfunny and unamusing that no one's noticed yet.

You remind me of my least favorite high school teacher.

I'm sure someone somewhere found you funny once. You should find that person.