about moms??

i want to emulate…your brother.

don't get me started on the misuse of the term "BBQ."

The time comes for all creatures when childhood ends and the doorway opens to life as an adult.

THANKS OBAMA!!!

you whine, you win.

Lifehack: you already gave her/them herpes, etc.

Lifehack: use your spouse's toothbrush to clean the toilet it doesn't matter because you fell out of love long ago and youd never kiss them anyways.

My Two Daddies

Yo Yo Mama

it's pretty hack-ish

Good lord, that's what he looks like?

you watch your ass.

Fabrizio, go easy on my hymen.

Larry Bird ≠ Polish-Mexican Comedian

no, the world is clamoring for the Overboard 2 script i wrote in college.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away.

i don't even have a house to leave.

bruce vilanch

Frohley HaHa