ABED!

"Allright, so in this scene, we'll need a slow zoom of me, shirtless, doing pull-ups. I want the lighting to cascade down my chest from above, thus accentuating my chiseled physique. We need to wrap this in 2 hours, as we need to get that sex scene with me and that amazingly attractive actress finished before we shoot…

"Allright, so in this scene, we'll need a slow zoom of me, shirtless, doing pull-ups. I want the lighting to cascade down my chest from above, thus accentuating my chiseled physique. We need to wrap this in 2 hours, as we need to get that sex scene with me and that amazingly attractive actress finished before we shoot…

If you're trying to mimic the prototypical AV commenter, it's a bit "on the nose".

If you're trying to mimic the prototypical AV commenter, it's a bit "on the nose".

Let me say that I am referring to directors who also act in the movies they are in: The Town was a non-stop Ben Affleck fest, and was far inferior than Gone Baby Gone.

Let me say that I am referring to directors who also act in the movies they are in: The Town was a non-stop Ben Affleck fest, and was far inferior than Gone Baby Gone.

The mistake would be to try and encourage him to Robert Redford his ass. We need to remind him to Jack Nicholson himself and all will be well.

The mistake would be to try and encourage him to Robert Redford his ass. We need to remind him to Jack Nicholson himself and all will be well.

"It's a test, Sammy."

It's my fighting name.

It's my fighting name.

There's often a stagnant, empty feeling to Tom Cruise's movies: going to them often feels like a hanging out with a cloistered rich kid with a crap load of toys that he constantly plays with in a desperate attempt to escape the creeping nihilism he feels.

There's often a stagnant, empty feeling to Tom Cruise's movies: going to them often feels like a hanging out with a cloistered rich kid with a crap load of toys that he constantly plays with in a desperate attempt to escape the creeping nihilism he feels.

Nah, it was basically an editing contest: they provided various audio, title, and film footage, and you had to cut it into a 25 second ad for Chrysler and The Dark Knight.

Nah, it was basically an editing contest: they provided various audio, title, and film footage, and you had to cut it into a 25 second ad for Chrysler and The Dark Knight.

I was going to say something about Kung-Fu Jeans, but then I remembered those aren't a thing…

I was going to say something about Kung-Fu Jeans, but then I remembered those aren't a thing…

*tries to think of a way to include Fugees in a pun*

*tries to think of a way to include Fugees in a pun*