Sexy Non-Lesbians

How I Met Your Whore of a Mother

Stuck-up Riverdale punks, they think they're too good for me.

Michael B. Jordan's baseball career.

America was drunk and made a few racist comments.

I think a period piece set on the moon is a genius idea… why hasn't it been made?

Usually when I'm talking saying Pollack the conversation is not about the director

The Hollywood Reporter respects the kid enough to not mention Melissa and Joey until the end

Nightman or GTFO

Oh my god I was wrong, it was earth all along
Well you finally made a monkey, yes we finally made a monkey

A geologist is a studier

I love they're commercials, just because it's always about how people love Cox and can get a bundle of Cox if they want.

It's strange to think that not everyone has netflix at this point.

Implying that makes it not social media.

Next year on Community: Michael Strahan as Troy's replacement

You don't know, so you chase them away

Now we have Pitchfork

The reveal is they're going through a bitter divorce while he's telling the story… talking about how great his life was before he met her and all the great times they had without her.

The NBC am winning. They are the Greetest.

That's what I've been doing since he first came into the news… it helped me successfully predict that he'd be an asshole.