Somehow I think a rat dipped in medicine would be cleaner than Jenna Jameson.

Oh, Jesus, you're just pissy because you spent the last three days in Hell and you know it.

So were Cherry Poppin' Daddies, Quirk.

Cediope!

Poceide!

Sean's dislike was palpable! Palpable, I tells ya!

*Throws Hanson sign (simulates fellatio)*

What, you expect us to riot over police beatings or summits of world leaders who have conspicuous face herpes? This is 2010, man. It's all about gettin' to watch people hump on a city street.

Yeah, fuck you you goddamn mallard! You're not gettin' my ciabatta!

Yeah, fuck you Australia! We don't throw no pissant hat-stealin' concert cancellation riots! Did you see what happened at Woodstock 99? No? Well that's because you were blinded by flying shit, bitch!

Will Someone Please Think of the Children?!
And then think of some way to stop them?!

Lost in Translation and Virgin Suicides really are good movies. But still. After Marie Antoinette people suddenly realized that she wasn't interested in anything but being unhappy about being young and having access to virtually anything you could possibly want.

"Sofia put on Forever Changes, and as the music swelled they found themselves unable to keep from falling into each others' arms, but their unsatisfactory lovemaking proved a cold comfort against the creeping loneliness of the night, and she found herself alone the next morning."

She also knows Beastie Boys. Can't she write about that?

Well, as the previous solution was "tranny hookers," I consider this an improvement.

It's Lost in Translation
…minus the sexual subtext.

Jackson said something about returning to splatstick after finishing crashing The Lovely Bones into our collective heads. Please, God, please.

Some French kids book or something.

I think the problem is that MGM is broke and is keeping the project on indefinite hold. He doesn't want to move twice without actually getting to make the movie.

*Contributes disdain*