I have always thought the Oscars needed about 50% more scheming bisexual assistants, impromptu Bollywood numbers, and peanut-poisonings.

"But won't they be able to smell Zoidberg?"

"But won't they be able to smell Zoidberg?"

Charlie's highly-questionable metaphor about quashing post-9/11 racial tension by "burning it to the ground" was nothing short of hilarious.

Charlie's highly-questionable metaphor about quashing post-9/11 racial tension by "burning it to the ground" was nothing short of hilarious.

"Todd VanDerWerff, who hasn’t been able to look Peter Scolari in the eye since 'The Return.'

"Todd VanDerWerff, who hasn’t been able to look Peter Scolari in the eye since 'The Return.'

Sorry, but any goodwill Charlize Theron had built up over the movie as the only intelligent person onboard was erased in her final scene when she's crushed to death simply because she doesn't know how to run right or left, opting instead to run in a straight line exactly along where the ship is collapsing.

Sorry, but any goodwill Charlize Theron had built up over the movie as the only intelligent person onboard was erased in her final scene when she's crushed to death simply because she doesn't know how to run right or left, opting instead to run in a straight line exactly along where the ship is collapsing.

Add "Did they bang?" to the list of questions left unanswered. How am I supposed to react substantively to this film when all I can think about after watching it is whether Charlize Theron was properly fucked or not?

Add "Did they bang?" to the list of questions left unanswered. How am I supposed to react substantively to this film when all I can think about after watching it is whether Charlize Theron was properly fucked or not?

I was almost willing to forgive this movie's plot holes on top of plot holes until that spaceship crash scene near the end when Shaw and Vickers are trying to outrun the giant falling ship.

I was almost willing to forgive this movie's plot holes on top of plot holes until that spaceship crash scene near the end when Shaw and Vickers are trying to outrun the giant falling ship.

Count me in as a fan of Jessa as a character. That actress' line-reading of "I'm on to her" at the hospital about the most obvious pill-seeker ever was hilarious. My favorite part of the episode.

Count me in as a fan of Jessa as a character. That actress' line-reading of "I'm on to her" at the hospital about the most obvious pill-seeker ever was hilarious. My favorite part of the episode.

So, Finn's not actually joining the Army to redeem his dad, is he? They've made it clear that his father was in the Marine Corps. So either Finn's an idiot, the writers just forgot the character's history, or Finn didn't bother to correct Rachel when she got it wrong before he left her. No matter what, it was weird.

So, Finn's not actually joining the Army to redeem his dad, is he? They've made it clear that his father was in the Marine Corps. So either Finn's an idiot, the writers just forgot the character's history, or Finn didn't bother to correct Rachel when she got it wrong before he left her. No matter what, it was weird.

I would love to see a supercut of every time a show has done the "Guy brings home Random Girl for some completely innocent reason who goes into the other room when suddenly Love Interest Girl shows up unexpectedly wanting to talk with Guy about their relationship when (uh oh!) Random Girl comes out of the other room…

Was anyone else perturbed that Julia and Frank apparenly let Leo wander on his own around Boston? It's highly irresponsible to allow a mentally-handicapped child to wander alone like that. Based on how their faces suddenly fell when he showed up with lunch ("I put vinegar on it just like you like, Dad!"), I assume…

I love that some writer thought "Vodka tonic, hold the tonic" was so clever a line for Amanda that she needed to say it twice in five minutes. What a waste of wordplay it would have been to have it uttered only once. (See also: "Do you want a twist? … The villain and the hero are same person!" Groan.)