I went through two phases with "That '70s Show". The props were so accurate and authentic, at first I experienced a powerful wave of nostalgia. Fairly quickly, I realized that the true premise of the show was hidden: a bunch of '90s kids fell into a time machine, hit their heads, developed amnesia and woke up in…

From White Nights
The scene in which Baryshnikov dances to Vysotsky's "Horses", as Helen Mirren looks on and comes as close to falling apart as her character is capable of. Everything about that scene is almost too powerful to bear. Every time I watch it, I'm reminded why wolves howl at the moon.

Best Slash interview of all time: Space Ghost Coast-to-Coast.

I don't think Ronnie would mind
if a tear leaked out of my eye when I heard this… as long as I followed it up with a house-shaking tribute to the Gods of Rock. Dio, Blackmore, Gillian, Glover—these guys taught me a lot about how fucking great it is to be alive. I would be an even bigger pussy than I am now if it…

Hey, thanks for the top-notch assessment of the nature of my inner world (based on a handful of comments posted to a notoriously bizarre internet comment board). I predict that will become a brilliant meme some day. People with the insight to understand their fellow man and the vision to use it for the creation of…

I'm reminded of some people I've known who seem to approach every task with the mindset that there has to be a way to complete the job without making much effort or putting in much time. So, they jump on every half-assed short-cut they can contrive, and declare them to be brilliant innovations. Then, they move on…

"…there is a certain level of appreciation I can muster for joining the race to the bottom without being completely unfunny."

Note to self: Hipster credo dictates that one must teach other people to behave in ways which one finds more acceptable or one is a huge pussy.

Because my username is Dick Move. That's why it's funny.

Sounds like a losing plan to me. Everyone, famous or not, encounters people every day who say and do things that are anywhere from mildly irritating to outrageously insulting. We all have the choice to either live with it, or try to change it. No matter how many people you teach not to do those things, more will…

Sorry, no.
There is no comedy here. It's just a guy saying odd things in a voice that sounds like he might be retarded. The whole concept is based on the staunch refusal to say or do anything that might be interpreted as an attempt to actually be funny. Apparently that, in and of itself, is supposed to be…

Let's see…
So being an arrogant, self-centered, belligerent, condescending, hot tempered meathead with serious anger and self-esteem issues in public… actually increases the popularity and commercial success of your projects? Why didn't anyone ever think of this before? Good thing Crowe got in at the ground floor of…

Oh-by the way, there are a few things that take me out of the 'magic' of any movie immediately. One of them is 555 telephone numbers, and another one is Dane Cook's face.

Yeah… The Postman. He was already on my last nerve when that came out. I don't take it lightly when a Sci-Fi novel I've loved enough to read more than once is turned into a terrible movie. It wasn't all Costner's fault The Postman sucked, but his hands were by no means clean either.

I just can't
maintain even a quasi-boner for Russell Crowe's acting any more. I realize he can and has done an outstanding job of it, from time to time, but I just don't care. He seems burdened by his own belief that he's smarter than everyone else. I know it must be hard for him to function in a world where not…

Man, I gotta rethink my snark technique. The premise of my comment was that reminding people of shitty things from their past, and pointing out the subsequent challenges they face even now as a result of said shitty historical events, is a crappy way of reaching out to them. Sort of like trying to get to know a Jew…

Hear! Hear! Aerosmith's back catalog ends with Toys, period. After that, they were a cardboard cutout of a band that looked and sounded vaguely like someone famous (just enough to make bank with a minimum of effort). Their early music appealed to a broad age range, including teens and adolescents. After Toys,…

I like to start conversations with black people
on the subjects of slavery, urban poverty, teen pregnancy and public school graduation rates. I just care about them so much that I want to let them know I understand their struggle, and I want to be part of the solution. I want to help them put all that nasty business…