Meanwhile, the decision to shoot "Where's My Water?" in the middle of the Pacific Ocean will cost Sony $500 million and become the "Heaven's Gate" of phone game movies.

Almost forgot my favorite line of Clint's so far in the entire series:

Almost forgot my favorite line of Clint's so far in the entire series:

That song was already pretty demented, so having it warbled by a grown man pretending to be a middle-school girl pushed it into some real David Lynch territory.

That song was already pretty demented, so having it warbled by a grown man pretending to be a middle-school girl pushed it into some real David Lynch territory.

When will I learn that whenever I hear a voice that I can't quite place but sounds like I've heard it a thousand times, the answer is always – ALWAYS – John Michael Higgins?

When will I learn that whenever I hear a voice that I can't quite place but sounds like I've heard it a thousand times, the answer is always – ALWAYS – John Michael Higgins?

The radio commercial for this movie just drops in a line that sounds like it was written solely to be included in the radio commercial: "You were a GREAT soccer player!"

The radio commercial for this movie just drops in a line that sounds like it was written solely to be included in the radio commercial: "You were a GREAT soccer player!"

See, also: Jennifer Aniston

See, also: Jennifer Aniston

But as a dweeby shut-in with no interest in popular music or reality TV, I'm deeply concerned about the possibilities this film raises. For example…

But as a dweeby shut-in with no interest in popular music or reality TV, I'm deeply concerned about the possibilities this film raises. For example…

I know everyone's shit's emotional right now…

I know everyone's shit's emotional right now…

And now liberals join conservatives in not really understanding what the phrase "bleeding heart" means.

And now liberals join conservatives in not really understanding what the phrase "bleeding heart" means.

The sharks would be terrifying for the first day or two. We get that.
But wouldn’t they sorta start to become your buddies after a few days?
If we’ve learned anything from the movies, it’s that constant contact in
an enclosed space equals friends.

The sharks would be terrifying for the first day or two. We get that.
But wouldn’t they sorta start to become your buddies after a few days?
If we’ve learned anything from the movies, it’s that constant contact in
an enclosed space equals friends.

[French!]