Two people made the same bad joke. I think they meant "Tyler Perry's MadeaHOOD."

I went to the White House, said please let me in, bub
I'm a newspaper man, a reporter, a cub
The people demand to know what's the hubub
Is the president stuck in his bathtub?

See, the reason I didn't vote for him…is cause he's a mass murderer!

That black girl is really sexy in the trailer, I came when she pulled down the big nigga's shorts, because iI magined they were my shorts. On his ass, but my shorts.

Carl Sagan never said "billions and billions." Never did.

I'd fuck Paula Abdul, but only sos I could steal pills from her purse.

Take that shampoo bottle, and put/stick it up my ass

The only thing that will make my wife have sex with me?

Maybe I'm just really stoned, but by human sushi platter doesn't she mean the colour palate of the clothes the characters are wearing? They always seem to be wildly coloured, and there are really only 2 colours of shirt.

You're none of those. You're just dumb to pay money for something you can get for free.

And also what's wrong with eating when you read? that isn't weird. logically it would be weirder to read when you shit than to read when you eat, but it's not weird to read while you shit. so it's not weird to read while you eat.

250,000 units shipped? and you say it's not hard to find somebody who has one? 4.1666666666666666666666666666667e-5 is the number that shows you are wrong if you used some math wiz.

The best way to attract children to your dick is to put cottage cheese on your balls. It lets them know you're one of them, and they immediately let you take awkward nude photos of them in a motel. Wear sunscreen?

Amphetamines make me so horny and yet they make it nearly impossible to cum, let alone maintain an erection. My foreskin was so swollen this morning after 3 hours of jacking off that it looked like a rattle snake.

A new blur release? Woo hoo!